Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Peekaboo

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edit Peekaboo

Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 16:08, March 27, 2011 (UTC)

I'll de it, for nostalgia's sake. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector 17:32, March 27, 2011 (UTC)
Hi Lollipop, in return for the custom hamburger lollipop I shall review this article. My first of all tiiime Shrooms Jello Shrooms 19:16, March 27, 2011 (UTC)
Well, I suppose if you got it done before me...--Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector 19:26, March 27, 2011 (UTC)
I think if you hadn't put 'de it' (which I thought might be some kind of acronym) I probably wouldn't have done it. So I have you to thank for my first review sir! Shrooms Jello Shrooms 19:31, March 27, 2011 (UTC)
You're welcome, I suppose *shrugs shoulders*...--Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector 19:37, March 27, 2011 (UTC)
Humour: 8 The humour is good, you are obviously very funny. You remind me of how I used to write as a kid only with a far bigger knowledge base to choose from. I liked the 'invention' section the most, with the 'retarded walrus' line taking centre stage, although the 'we get it' at the end slightly ruins it as it seems as if you're suddenly speaking on behalf of me and everyone else.
Concept: 7 Good concept, although you could have delved more into what 'professional' peekaboo consists of instead of just referring to it vaguely.
Prose and formatting: 3 Grammar problems disrupt the flow and just when I'm starting to get into a funny paragraph a bad sentence will jag and I'm struck by the urge to edit. Which kind of ruins an article for me. I'm not sure if you're serious when you make statements like 'when Oscar Wilde quotes was replaced'...it should clearly be 'Oscar Wilde quotes replaced it'...either way it doesn't work for me. 'Now, today', should be just 'today' and 'the game was begun' should be 'the game was born'. The strange thing is it isn't like your grammar is bad throughout, many sentences are perfectly structured, and you don't use unnecessarily long words to appear smart. In fact, There are published novels with worse grammar overall, it's just those terribly constructed sentences that seem to pop out of nowhere - usually toward the end of the paragraphs - that I have a problem with.
Images: 4 The picture ain't bad, but it could do with another one at least. Your article 'stupid cats' was one of my favourites and had some hilarious pictures, so you're obviously capable of finding them.
Miscellaneous: 5 No comment
Final Score: 27 Good but sort out the stray sentences and grammar. In fact I may just do this myself when I'm done here, as there is a lot of promise in this article. As this is my first review, I'm sure it's bound to be a bit crap too so feel free to give me some feedback too, that goes for anyone.
Reviewer: Shrooms Jello Shrooms 19:16, March 27, 2011 (UTC)
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