Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Pannts

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Revision as of 18:53, July 5, 2011 by EpicAwesomeness (talk | contribs)

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edit Pannts

Please review this--Xamralco 01:55, July 4, 2011 (UTC)

Humour: 8 Let me start off by saying that there is some really great - and great means funny as well as great - writing here. It really is one of those "serious but funny" gems, but there are one or two things you could improve upon. Let's sort this out bit by bit:

The opening is just great, one of the really funny parts. The "13th, 14th, and 15th Amendments" bit actually made me laugh, and the rest is also of a high comic standard. However, you may want to slightly tweak the first two lines so they, well, flow a bit more and put any mentions of the acronym Pannts in caps, like you did with CRAP. And, if you want to, add a throwaway item to the list of things they've started.

The second bit is OK but you can't really elevate it without really giving it a facelift. Some minor suggestions: change the names of the cavemen (maybe just to some one-syllable grunts) and add a humorous comment about the how they credited themselves with making vegitarianism, or anything really, as it just seems to hang a bit at the end. It would be nice if you could continue it a bit.

Famous Pannts is all right in its present condition, although you may want to remove Dress Pannts and Sweat Pannts from the list, or think up better motives for them, and generally expand it all a bit (what happened next? etc).

Finally, we have the Recent Happenings bit. Well, honestly, I think you can just leave this bit alone. That's really it for this section, although you may want to add something like Pannts Today.

Concept: 7 Concept is OK. I mean, it's been seen before but it's still a refreshing execution of the whole idea.
Prose and formatting: 7 Prose is good. It's a nice, factual tone. As for the formatting, it's pretty much fine. One or two spelling mistakes, nothing much, but you may want to reconsider the way you present the lists.
Images: 8 The two images here are just great, and so are the captions. If you want, you could think about adding something along the lines of the Pannts logo, but you can decide.
Miscellaneous: 7.5 Used the Pee template to average your score.
Final Score: 37.5 Well, a good article all round. That's it really. Sorry I didn't do a more in depth review.
Reviewer: EpicAwesomeness (talk) 18:53, July 5, 2011 (UTC)
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