Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Paleolithic Age (2nd Review)

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edit Paleolithic Age

Major edit of article after first review. Lots of boring foundation fluff removed and needs a final tune-up before VFH.--DRStrangesig5 Sherman Fingertalk  12:49, 13 January 2009 (UTC)

Humour: 4 Uneven. The article drifts between rather boring facts and rather poorly-timed and disjointed sex jokes that haven't really anything to do with anything. The bits about the 'black cherry' are the epitome of this.
Concept: 8 It is in fact a good idea, I'll give you that.
Prose and formatting: 8 You'r writing and grammar is certainly very good. You may wish to give the article a more even tone, however. In addition, the bolded first letter at the beginning of each section is admittedly kinda cool but ultimately unnecessary; loose it.
Images: 7 The pictures are all great, but the captions feel forced. That probably has more to do with humor, but yeah. Again, they're all disjointed and ultimately not funny. Sorry, it's the truth. In addition, you might want to loose the massive expanse of space between the introduction and the first picture, if possible, or just loose the picture altogether. You might want to try putting some pictures on the left side, too, unless of course you wanted it the way you put it. If the later is the case, don't at all worry about that.
Miscellaneous: 6.3 Averages out your score.
Final Score: 33.3 Aside from not being funny (or at very least just being really disjointed and forced), a good, solid article. Good concept, writing, and pictures. As there is no 'formula' for being funny, I really can't give any advice. Don't be discouraged, however, perhaps all you need is a better topic, as the Paleolithic is in fact fairly boring to most people and no one really has outrageously strong feelings about it one way or the other.
Reviewer: Guildensternenstein.
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