Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Ow!buntu

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edit Ow!buntu

I will have a go... MrN Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 19:56, Jan 10

Humour: 7 Intro 8

I like the idea of Blue screen being a service!

Technical Details 5

Did not add much for me. Bulk this section up with some more details. What about typical time to crash? Time to unwanted pop-up? Guarentee of virus attack? You know, all the things we love Windoz for.

History 7

Not bad, maybe split it into two different paragraphs. This section has a great deal of expansion possibilities. How about Bill getting the idea from looking over Linus' shoulder while travelling on a bus? How about the Penguins sure they have more to say? I guess you know something about the real history or MS and Linux, so why not blend the truth with fiction a little more? This article is only going to be understood by us geeks anyway, so I think you can go to town on the geekyness if you wish to.

Criticism 6

A little lame. The monkeys think goes a bit over the top for me. OK, I know it's a hitchiker thing, but its getting old now. Maybe mention the monkeys a bit less, and maybe concentrate on other things. How about it's so incompatible that after installation Carl Lewis/OJ Simpson (or whoever) found it impossible to run.

Naming 5

Again, this is not helping. Either add significantly to this section, or scrap it altogether.

Concept: 8.5 Hea, I'm a software guy myself, so I like the idea! This is actually happening is in not? Well M$ are trying anyways! Still. It's a good idea, and has a fair but more potential. I guess you can use this as a vechile through which to attack M$ and point out the differences between Linux and Windos.

Did you know that non professional versions of Windows are actually deliberately crippled to make them run slower? They limit the number of simultanious socket connections so that it works badly as as a server.

I think you need to be careful not to just let this slip into another article saying how bad M$ are. OK, we all know their sins, but the reality is that M$ products are by far the most popular on the plannet. There is good reason for this. I myself thought that Linux would have replaced Windows long ago, but the fact is that it has not. People like using windows. You don't need to know what the /etc directory is, and it supports you WiFi card. I wonder if this article might work rather well if it actually presented a more ballanced view.

It's fine to take the piss out of M$ of course, but why not insult people who think that Linux is the answer to everyones problems? Maybe you could liken the "comming of Linux" to the "second comming of christ"? A lot of people has been saying for a while that both will turn up and save us from sin, but neither ever actually make it. Well, not yet anyways!

Prose and formatting: 7 It's OK. Kinda par for the Uncyc course. There are a few places you use more words than necessary such as:

The Ow!buntu project was thought up by Bill Gates and he announced the project with his server monkeys at the Internet Toaster festival in Redmond in December, 2007

Could read:

The Ow!buntu project was the brain child of Bill Gates and was announced by his server monkeys at the Internet Toaster festival, Redmond in December, 2007

The alignment is a little out here and there also. Did you know that you can use<br clear ="all"> to force text onto a new line and not be next to a picture. I'm using 1024*768 and on my screen things are not quite right.

The prose is OK, but as I said, it could really do with being a bit more concise. I'm also not a fan of large unbroken paragraphs, which you have in a few places. Break them up.

Images: 7 They are OK, but could be a lot better. Size and formatting wise I think you layout the pics a bit better. I'm not a fan of having an image on both sides of the text, as you do at the start, maybe loose one of them.

I like the chopping you have done here and there! Nice work.

Miscellaneous: 7.4 {{pee|7|8.5|7|7}}
Final Score: 36.9 I have been a little tight with the scores really because I think this is a good idea, with lots of expansion options. Your obviously quite knowledgeable about Linux and Windoz, so why not take advantage of that? Try to think of the different things which make Windoz and Linux what they are, and use them to expand the article. Would Ow!Buntu be an open source project? What the geeks think of it? What would Linus have to say on the matter?

I hope you decide to give this a bit of an overhaul. It deserves it, as it can be a lot better if you decide to put the work in. Good Luck!

Reviewer: MrN Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 20:38, Jan 10
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