Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Oak Hills Christian College

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edit Oak Hills Christian College

Thule aran 18:26, April 24, 2010 (UTC)

In the name of water buffalos, I claim this article. 8-10 hous or less.--Grue JammyDirectorEye 4WILLExplode 3YOU 333Talk IF YOU DARE 15:36, April 25, 2010 (UTC)
This one was a hard one, but I did all that I could--Grue JammyDirectorEye 4WILLExplode 3YOU 333Talk IF YOU DARE 17:39, April 25, 2010 (UTC)
I like to write a lot of things, I’m pretty good at Pee Reviews, and I received an award Author of the Month Award and one feature. Also I like Avenged Sevenfold, Modern Warfare 2, Halo 3, and brunettes and emo girls.
Concept: 3 After reading through the entire thing, and going over the stuff. I was disappointed at what I read, because primarily of what you used for a concept. I expected to be about a funny article about a well known Christian school, but I was mistaken. Instead, all I saw was a bunch of in-jokes and a lot of random stuff. Even though being random and untrue can be funny, in the HTBFANJS (a wonderful guide) states that ‘’The truth is usually funnier than nonsense. The funniest pages are those closest to the truth.’’ And a lot of this is full of fake things. Now in order to make it funny, research on the web is required. Looking up information about the school and learning about it and finding somehow to turn it into humor. It says so in the HTBFANJS ‘’ Research. A good chunk of stuff on here is random, and random can be funny. But the truly great articles require a bit of research. In order to effectively parody or satirize a subject, do some research on the real thing first, and your jokes will be better and actually make sense.’’ See what I mean? A few silly things can be added, as long as you don’t overdo it. And I hope you’re not talking about ‘’’your’’’ school, because if you are, that is a violation of the rules here (yes we have rules, not many though) and may result in deleting of the article.
Prose and Formatting: 7 No grammar mistakes, which I’ll give you credit for that. But when you make sections, I prefer you make them with == instead of =.
Humo(u)r: 3 To be honest, the entire thing was a total “meh”. Not to be a dick, but there are too many in-jokes that involve Chuck Norris and Jack Bauer. Even though I’m quite a Chuck Norris person myself and like to mention him in my articles, I can finally see why people are tired of the joke. In-jokes may be a way to make your article good, it doesn’t work if you overdue it like you did on this article.

Secondly, there are too many references to kitten huffen and kitten plants. Even though I never seen kitten plants before, I’ve seen kitten huffen all over Uncyclopedia. What I’m saying is, it’s over used, unfunny nowadays, and completely random.

Third, there is a combination of lord of the rings and harry potter, which really made me go ‘’meh’’. Along with the randomness, using work primarily from other work, is a no no, as this literally means you know nothing about the thing you’re writing and using things from other places to make this article

All I can say about how to improve is do what I said above in the concept section: do research and add some sillies, but not too many.

Images: 0 There are no images. Very disappointing. The thing about images is that they give your article meaning, and they further support your article, as well as supply a few more laughs. And not having any will turn people away. It’s quite easy, just surf the internet until you found a suitable image (but it must actually contribute to the article) then you upload it and put it on the article. If you can’t find anything just as someone who can Photoshop for you.
Miscellaneous: 4 My overall grade of this article
Final Score: 17 After seeing that you don’t have a userspace I presume you’re a new member, so things like this doesn’t surprise if that’s the case. Yet the article still needs improvement. I think you should either rewrite this thing with the information I gave to you, or just scrap the entire thing. It’s your choice though, just follow your own jugement. If you have any questions/comments, just go to my talk page and I’ll be happy to answer them. Good Luck! Cheers!
Reviewer: --Grue JammyDirectorEye 4WILLExplode 3YOU 333Talk IF YOU DARE 17:39, April 25, 2010 (UTC)
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