Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Number Bases (00000010)

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edit Number Bases

I've now taken this to a point where I don't think I've kept any of the original material alive. Pup t 12:42, 9/08/2009

Yeah, I guess I can take this one, and by the way, congrats on the Six Hats featuring. ~~Sir Fightstar Rocks! CUN 14:36, 10 August 2009 (UTC)
Scratch that, I'm focusing on writing. ~~Sir Fightstar Rocks! CUN 23:08, 11 August 2009 (UTC)

I'll take it in that case.--ChiefjusticeDS 12:13, 14 August 2009 (UTC)

I may have to push this one over 24 hours as I have some other stuff going on right now, I'll be with you as soon as I can be.--ChiefjusticeDS 18:06, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
Humour: 7 Right, the changes you have made are immediately obvious when you look at the article and they are generally positive changes.The article is well written and the humour is pleasingly subtle and genuinely amusing in places. Where you are still going wrong however is not your existing jokes, it is the absence of certain jokes and the lack of a consistent structure for the jokes in each section that pulls you back. Consider, for a moment, 'Base 16 - The Hexadecimal System', and then take a look at 'Base 1 - The Urinary system'. Notice the differences in structure, if you structured the former in a similar way then not only could you get more jokes in but you would also provide more background for the existing jokes. Most of your sections are constructed very well and the most amusing are the ones that are in the most depth. As I said last time this article is not one of overarching appeal so you need to anticipate people arriving at the page and finding out that number bases actually exist for the first time, thus background is always appreciated, while you do pretty good job of concisely summing this up some of the sections don't give much of a summary as to what the system is or how it works, try and be equally in-depth in all of them, that way the humour is accessible to everyone. This change can be incorporated into the fix for the previous problem as your article has distinct trouble spots (the shorter sections) and some very well done parts.
Concept: 9 You have done much better on this and have clearly put some effort into revising the tone of the article. However there still remain a couple of instances where your choice of tone is questionable, minor problems where the tone comes too close to addressing the reader. Just remember that your article is not a tutorial on number bases and you should try to model the language in a way that is consistent with this. Otherwise there is nothing more for you to do here, very well done for your improvements.
Prose and formatting: 8 Your spelling and grammar is fine and I don't think any major action is required. As far as formatting goes, you have done well to sort captions and move the images, the problem now is the size of your images, they are all pretty small and I was having to lean into my screen and pull a stupid face to make out the fine details in some of them, especially as some of the captions refer to items in the image. If possible try to make the images larger so that people can make them out, try to make them big enough to see, but small enough that they don't feel intrusive, this may require some trial and error to get right but try to persevere with it. Remember that the images do not have to be uniform in size.
Images: 9 They are excellent, just sort the formatting issue and recheck your captions and you will be finished with this one. You lose the mark because the images have formatting problems, and you need no formatting problems with images for a 10 from me on this one.
Miscellaneous: 8 My overall grade of the article
Final Score: 41 I'm glad to see you have made some positive changes to the article, and that it is definitely almost there. You just need to make sure you continue to take criticism well and make changes where appropriate. If you have any questions and/or comments about my review, or a complaint about the length of your wait for a review then feel free to contact the customer service department and a representative will be with you as soon as possible. Good luck making any changes, and well done for the changes made so far.
Reviewer: --ChiefjusticeDS 18:12, 15 August 2009 (UTC)
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