Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Nuggetism

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edit Nuggetism

My first article just want to know if it is a good one or not

Nugget 07:52, 30 September 2008 (UTC)

This article is under review by
Gerry Cheevers.

Sayeth Gerry: shotgun!!
Humour: 2 average of sections
  • intro: 2

firstly, you have faaaar too many quotes. the one from captain obvious was actually rather clever, i would keep only that one and get rid of the rest. your is long, ranty, random, and off-topic. rather than an intro you go into the history of nuggetism, try making that stuff its own 'history' section. for the intro, give a brief definition of the religion, and not much more. it should draw your reader in without taking up too much space.

  • nebus: 2

this is another section that is very random. anecdotes about super smash brothers games really don't fly too well. if you're going to parody christianity you should stick a little closer to the truth, otherwise the random stuff has no basis and falls flat.

  • uprising: 2

extremely similar to the last section, you're just using a narrative to tell a story without any basis in reality, making this section (again) random and unfunny.

  • modern world: 2

this section is again random, but you throw in some ranting, which never goes over well. overall you should try to stick closer to reality and christianity, if that is the object of your parody.

Concept: 2 2/5 points for a made-up subject intended to parody religion. it's been done many times before and there's nothing particularly original about this that sets it apart.

0/5 points for execution. again, sticking closer to the truth here would be beneficial. when your reader finishes the article and wonders if nuggetism actually exists, then you know you have succeeded.

Prose and formatting: 2 your images are huge, many of your links are red, you end with a list (bad), your spelling and grammar are extremely poor.
Images: 2 a series of extremely poorly photoshopped images, they really aren't funny at all. the crazy fat kid has been waaaay overdone.
Miscellaneous: 2 average
Final Score: 10 your final score is a 10, indicating that this article probably won't survive long in the mainspace as it currently stands. you need a major overhaul. i recommend reading our holy book, HTBFANJS, particularly what it says about randomness and nonsense. there's a good idea way deep down here, and i think by sticking closer to that idea you can turn this into a decent article.
Reviewer: SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 19:53, 7 October 2008 (UTC)

If you want pictures you can request them

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