Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Nazi Zombies (3rd review)

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edit Nazi Zombies

I'm looking for more ideas (I'm out of them), and possibly depression-inducing criticism. Gamma287 Tro-lo-no 069f11-1 MUN Icons-flag-us ☭Tetяis? 19:35, June 30, 2011 (UTC)

I'm working on it. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 09:47, July 13, 2011 (UTC)
Humour: 6 Ok some bits were funny, however to be honest some sections of this article are far too factual to be funny in my opinion, specifically your introduction. This section especially needs more satire less drawling on about fact. But whilst I say this, don't make it sound totally absurd, that would just kill any chance your article has of going anywhere (by the way it has that potential, but it's not quite there yet).

Now that I'm addresses the issue your introduction has, I will go over the remainer of the article in some detail.

Background - I like this section a world more than your introduction, but it could still use some fine tuning. I believe you have the you have the nuts and bolts in this section to make it funny, however what you need more of is actual content of the background and less of the made up story. A toal bullshit claim is as equally not funny as drawling on and on about the truth. You have combined the two to an extent, but the balance here needs perfecting to some degree.

Main Characters - By far the best written section of your article. I see too many articles on the theme of video games and movies fall well back on character information and instead substitute it with a far too big plot summary. You have given charcter information oin detail and have made it funny. You have also stuck to what the heading 'Main characters is supposed to mean, main characters and nothing more, as articles with long lists of minor charcters end up on VFD. In summary do not do much to this section, re-word it a little of you see fit but no need for drastic changes at all.

Zombies and Related Objects - My main worry here is that your overdoing it, some of it is funny. Some of it looks more like pading to make it lengthyer. It doesn't have to be long to be funny, these are just minor components and should be treated like that in your article. Each point should coer only a couple of sentences, and they can be funny that quick and it also keep the reader interested.

Everything else - I don't have to provide individual sections here because its generally more of the same. Too listy, to be blunt. You also need to discuss the relevance the information has to the plot of the game, this will not make it easier to follow but it will also make it more humorous to to the reader.

Concept: 10 Your concept of this topic is truly exceptional, you know about it in detail (but as discussed earlier you write some of it in too much detail. So I can't fault you in t. Your understanding is expressed throughly and evenly through out the entire article so absolutely no issues in this section.
Prose and formatting: 8 I perhaps object to the idea of using a listy sort of format and would have preferred a more encyclopedic format, but thats perhaps just my personal preference to this sort of article.

However the formatting you have chosen is formatted extremely well, people who use lists tend to turn their article into more of an eye sore more than anything, but this is quite the opposite, you bold important information, use relevant interwiki links thats are evenly spaces and use plenty of blue.

Images: 10 I was perhaps disappointed that your humor wasn't of the same standard as your images!

They are extremely well selected, well formatted, of high quality and importantly use good captions. And unlike a lot of articles I see, all your images are relevant to wait you are discussing at that point in the article.

Miscellaneous: 8.5 My overall rating out of 10
Final Score: 42.5 So yeah, tome up the humor mainly, although the formatting could use a makeover, but this is your call not mine. It's pretty well written but requires a fair amount of tuning up. I look forward to reading the finished product!
Reviewer: ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au
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