Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Muddy Waters
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what is this i wrote i dont even06:57, February 15, 2011 (UTC)
- Looks like it'll probably be featured soon, but I'd still like a full review. What with always looking for self-improvement and all that horseshit. --
20:51, February 27, 2011 (UTC)
- I'll do this. Although honestly I am shocked this is an article on a black person that doesn't deal with racism. (talk) 21:54, March 3, 2011 (UTC)
|Humour:||9.5||I really wanted to give this a 10 for this section. Unfortunately there is a fuse in my brain that melts whenever I do something that I don't truly agree with and turns my brain off for an hour. To avoid that I'm giving you a 9.5. This article was extremely funny, with its use of repetition, escalation, and a dash of the unexpected. Much of the humor derived from the concept that you used of a blues singer who is literally sad about everything, no matter how awesome (more on that later.) You do a great job keeping the funny coming later in the article when most people will have stopped going to the footnotes, but when there was a footnote after his suicide it surprised me a little bit. I wouldn't recommend changing anything about this article humor-wise, and the only reason you didn't get a 10 (other than my brain problem) is because there is that one little thing missing that I can't really put my finger on.
The humor that comes from the concept is great. An article on how a blues singer come up with his songs is interesting and you've done a great job with it. The whole article is hilarious with how he never gets happier despite all the success he has, even though he doesn't want it. Anyway, enough with praising your article. There's nothing wrong with the comedy, don't change anything.
|Concept:||10||As I said above, the concept is brilliant. Having footnotes during Muddy's life story to the inspirations for his songs is a great idea. However, after a little while I stopped going to all of them, which might not be a bad thing since after a while you can just assume what the footnote is going to tell you. Having him be the typical depressed blues musician during the entire article is a good idea as well. The beginning of the biography was especially funny when the reason he was depressed when he got a "better" gift than he wanted. I also love how this a parody of just about every blues singer ever, maybe there's a possibility for a country version of this? There isn't anything bad that I can say about the concept, it's a great idea that you've pulled off extremely well. The style that it's written in is perfect for what you're doing with the article. Making the history here seem believable works out really well here.|
|Prose and formatting:||9||This article is well written, and seems a lot more like an encyclopedia than a lot of the other articles on the site (even the good ones) which really fits in with the concept (explained above.) I didn't see any spelling or grammar errors. The wording of the article flows very well from one sentence to the next. A couple of words are used a few too many times in the article and could be replaced with a synonym, but it wasn't that noticeable in any section other than the footnotes (where it should be kept due to hilariousness.)
The formatting is good as well. The only thing that I think is odd is the fact that the spacing is different when you use a footnote which isn't your fault so there's not anything you can do to fix it as far as I know. A minor issue that I noticed was the fact that there is a single line from paragraph 4 in the "Electric mud" section that is under the picture. If this can't be fixed without making the picture too big or too small don't worry about it, it's just one of the things that I try to fix in any of my articles. The red link in the "sex life" section bothers me a bit and should probably be shortened to just [[Johnny Carson]] instead of the entire show title. Other than those little things this article is formatted perfectly.
|Images:||8.5||The images are great. The captions are pretty good, but they aren't exactly laugh-out-loud moments except for the blue image at the bottom. The pictures are well sized for the article, and do a great job of eliminating white space. There could be one more, or maybe two if you made some of the others smaller, but if you can't find any that are just as good as the other pictures then you should keep it how it is right now. On the images in the article right now I wouldn't recommend changing anything except the caption of the first one to something more along the lines of "not even attempting to be happy" as it looks like he actually is smiling in that picture, and the article is about how he's not ever happy. The pictures are great though so unless you feel like you really need to I wouldn't change anything.|
|Miscellaneous:||9||Overall "feel" of the article. (Again would be higher if not for my brain thing.)|
|Final Score:||46||In it's current state it definitely should get featured (and seems to be nearly there right now.) I really don't think it needs to be improved at all unless you are one of those people that feel every one of their articles should impress God.|