From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Thatcomputerperson 21:55, 15 April 2009 (UTC)
Really need some help to make this something good...
I agree with Thatcomputerperson. Seriously need more help and try to make funnier puns/jokes.
|This article is under review by|
Sayeth Gerry: shotgun!!
|Humour:||1.8||average of all scores
you actually have a glimmer of humor when you incorporate 'water gun' several times, but try to avoid a list like 'water gun, water gun, other thing, water gun'. make it subtle that it uses water gun a lot. the rest of the list was rather bland; entries like 'HP: you knows' don't really have much effectiveness. the last two sentences were incoherent.
this seems like more incoherent gibberish. i realy don't know what it is supposed to be or mean.
|Concept:||4||4/5 points for a mildly well-known subject deserving of parody. surely most of the editors on this site know of missingno?
0/5 points for execution. you lack a theme, central idea, direction...all that food stuff that makes the foundation of a good article. take an angle like 'an encyclopedic entry about how OLD MAN conspired to make a monster, mixed with frankenstein' or 'the wikipedia article, but glitched pretty badly'. as it stands, you have no central theme holding everything together, and as a result the pieces of your article float around ineffectively.
|Prose and formatting:||3||this is low on content, ugly, incomprehensible at times, and confusing. you need a major overhaul, but before that you need to work on the concept and direction.|
|Images:||5||the images aren't too bad. the card one is good, but the ghost one really doesn't add much, and further confuses the reader.|
|Miscellaneous:||3.5||a wizard averaged it|
|Final Score:||17.3||my preview button tells me that your score is 17.3, a dangerously low place to be. without improvement this is likely to face deletion. but you can improve it! come up with some sort of central idea: that should be your first step. once you decide to focus on the OLD MAN's crazy experiments, or the glitchesches ititit causesuses suchsuch asasas repeatingting thethet lastlast fourfour lettersters ofofof everyvery wordword, you can use that concept throughout the article to tie everything together. once you have that done, come back and get another review for some fine-tuning. take a look at HTBFANJS for some good inspiration, and feel free to come by my talk page with any question. good luck!|
|Reviewer:||15:36, 17 April 2009 (UTC)|