Unfortunately, I am unable to review your article. I thought I had some spare time but no:( stupid appointment I have to go to. stupid stupid stupid--M'su Carencro - Talk - Contributions - Blag 05:19, July 6, 2010 (UTC)
I have to say Horrace/The Conglomerate Sockpuppet You Most Likely Are, this is a pretty amusing article. It's not side-splittingly funny or anything--it's basically one joke, so it's kinda hard to be--but it's very amusing nonetheless. The strongest/funniest parts (after the initial joke wears off, that is) are where you explain the origins of Miss Upton's concern for maps and when you give what Miss Upton "meant" to say (the Today show thing). It's also worth mentioning that you do an impressive job of keeping the main joke afloat, though it does start to peter off a bit toward the end, as I mention before.
Pretty much what I expected--that is, I pretty much figured you were going to do write this article in the voice of Miss Teen South Carolina before I even clicked the link to read to read the article. Is this a bad thing? Not necessarily. As a matter of fact, because most people probably expect this to be the angle of the article, anything other than the angle you pursued would probably be disappointing or unfitting.
Where you do lose a point or two, though, is in the area of topicality. If I were writing this review in, like, 2007, I'd probably give you an 8 or 9 here. Because the ship for this joke has sailed almost three years ago now, though, I can't exactly give you a topicality or originality bonus.
Prose and formatting:
This is this article's strongest point. It looks professional--nice, meaty sections and subsections of multiple paragraphs; sparse but appropriate links; pictures that supplement the material nicely--this article looks more complete and encyclopedic than the Wikipedia article on the same person, if you can believe it. This ostentatious professional appearance is, of course, wonderfully juxtaposed by the stupidity of the narrating voice. Well done. You also manage to walk the thin line of writing in the voice of Miss Teen South Carolina's incomprehensible expressions and writing a coherent, readable article really well, so props for that.
They're not necessarily funny by themselves, but they supplement the article well and add to that "professional" appearance I mentioned before. Also, your choice of not making the first picture into a thumbnail-style image works really, really well for some inexplicable reason, I find. Just thought I'd mention that.
My overall grade of the article. There's really not much you could improve upon--the only real problem is that this subject is horribly, horribly dated, but then again there's really no way around that.