Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Ministries of the UK Government
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|Humour:||8.5||I think that your work is very well organized and all the jokes are funny. I really liked the parts about the water contamination, the plebs, The Fence Ministry, etc., etc. I appreciated the fact that you know well what you are talking about but that the article does not go into very complicated politics and all and just parodies different ministries.
The only suggestion I would have is to link all the parts of the article together. Shabidoo said: "There seems to be a lack of cohesion/concept between the sections". I agree with Shabidoo here, as I keep on getting the impression that all the different sections are independent from each other. It would be cool if you add a little introduction at the beginning of the "Ministries" section, as there you just talk about different ministries (which are actually very funny parodies of the real ones) and do mot say much about them in general, if you get what I mean. To be even clearer, you have a very good introduction to the article, where you talk about the Ministers, the definition of Ministries, etc., but you do not look at their general functions as one system. You do no give the connection between the Ministry of The Fence and all the others, you do not say how is the Ministry of Pessimism different from the Ministry of tha Administrative Affairs, for instance. It is as if you were analyzing all the details of the machine but not concluding on it as a whole.
I also did not understand whether the Ministry of Magic is a parody of some other ministry or not, as all the other joke-ministries do parody something.
|Concept:||8||I talked about your concept in the last section, as it was also very much connected with the humour of the article. So there is only one thing I would like to add here: I generally do not like extremely long articles and prefer the normal ones; however, in your case, the topic is very important and I think that you did not expand it enough. Me, personally, I would like to see "History" (when such a system began to exist, etc.) and "Side-effects" (of the Ministries, of course). Otherwise, I think that you really did a nice job and the fact that you nominated the article for VFH is not a mistake.|
|Prose and formatting:||6||I proofread your article myself and fixed several sentences and below is the record of everything I have noticed
|Images:||7||I liked the images you were using but think that, first of all, the main first image combines all the logos of different ministries and I would prefer them to be separate and to be placed in the relevant sections of the article.
Also, the image of the Ministers of Pessimism hailing the Prime Minister is not connected to the text. You did not talk about this in the "Pessimism" section, did you?
|Miscellaneous:||7.4||Pretty much your average score.|
|Final Score:||36.9||I am sure that the article can be improved on and would advise you to do it, as soon as possible, considering the fact that it is on VFH already. Please, look at my proofreading, do the same in some places where I haven't done the tidying-up, add one or two paragraphs to the article (see Humor and Concept) and find a way to spread all the Ministries' logos across the article, not to have all of them in the introduction. But very nice job, all in all, keep on doing as well as now and do not be afraid of any improvements!|
|Reviewer:||Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 10:42, August 20, 2013 (UTC)|