Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Michael Jackson (Colonization)
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Alright, so this is our third Colonization and I think it's pretty good. Participation was good, and everyone worked very hard (myself excluded) to bring this article up to Uncyc standards. However, I'd like to hear from you:
- Is this Uncyc standards?
- Is this VFH standards?
PEEING members only, please. If you don't know what PEEING is, don't review this article please. It's crucial that this article gets an in depth review today and not Sunday or Monday. —Sir SysRq (talk) 15:59, 28 March 2009 (UTC)
- SysRq put a gun to my head so I have to do it. MrN 02:21, Mar 29
|Humour:||8.75||Alright, no fucking about you guys are better writers than me, so I'm not going to try and teach ya anything. Just the skinny...
The links to other articles are well done. I liked the Prince reference.
"Despite absurd allegations to the contrary, Michael Jackson does not hate being black. He loves how well he can dance, how well he can moonwalk, and how well he can do many other things that can be attributed to his ethnic origin" giggle.
A vegetarian diet section is awesome. "He did do the chin, of course. But that's very attractive." FTW. Um, where are photos of Charlize Theron? Maybe I missed the joke on that one. Oh, they are links in the before and after. Hmm, maybe it's possible to get that to look like an external link to make it more obvious...
The Dangling Baby Conundrum But it should also be pointed out that many researchers have found that the practice is relatively common in Germany, where the incident occurred. Whoever wrote that needs a knighthood. Got a lol from me.
Elephant Bones Clever. I was actually replacing the name (everyone knows that) it's not John, and then noticed that was the point.
Return to the stage and 2009 tour Why is "King of Pop" in quotes? Surely that's obvious and does not need to be stated. ;-) (Still needs more) Eh?
Well I did get a few good giggles here and there so you get a solid score. It's not hilarious but obviously well above the norm for Uncyc.
Use a few more references if you can. I think the one you have is great but if there were 3 or 4 maybe it would enhance the encyclopaedic style.
|Concept:||8.5||Hell ya. A solid encyclopaedic style article. I wish more people would write in this style. What happened with Jew I have no idea. That was/is a mess. Jew is a quality article based on a great concept, but it's halfway between two styles and it does not work IMO. Oh yea, I'm talking about this article right? Um... OK then. Hea, you bastards have to read whatever I type so fuck you! *sniggers* Yea probably good to keep clear of the obvious. People will be adding stupid paedophile jokes to this article forever more I'm sure, but hea... This is Uncyc.
After reading this I'm actually starting to think that O'l Michael aint such a bad sort after all... You need to mention the $7,000,000 pay out at some point though. I'm sure there is mileage in that. Why did he pay that kid?
|Prose and formatting:||8.5||There is something wrong with the wording of "Jackson's incredible musical talent began to emerge as early as 11 years old as the most gifted member of The Jackson 5."
". Michael Jackson then decided to put out his own music, after outcry from the fans that the other four Jacksons were holding Michael back. " does not read right.
I like how it uses Michael Jackson, Michael or maybe Mr. Jackson depending on if the author is talking about something sensitive or not very clever stuff guys. Works really well.
I think it can be smoothed out a bit, but generally very good.
|Images:||8||I'm a fan of lots of pics myself, and I fancy this could use 1 or maybe 2 more. Early days and Jackson 5 could use a pic for sure... I almost always use 250px for all images myself but that's cos I have a larger penis than you. It does make them a bit harder to see when they are smaller and when you get to my age and have done as much internet as me the eyes start to go don't you know.
The Like Jesus and Vegetarianism and vitiligo pictures are bunched together on my resolution and that needs to be fixed somehow.
Oh, yea... The pics and quotes are awesome. I would just like some more. Bloody heck we actually have someone new who makes good images. Now that is a good thing.
|Final Score:||42.15||This is clever and I expect that many people will take the author seriously. I guess that makes it even more funny. It's wonderful to see such an almost deadpan delivery. The temptation to throw a few clues in using links must have been hard to resist. This article is a success. Unlike Jew did I mention that? Oh, I did... Moving on...
Overall... Quality stuff guys. Colonisation has worked this time. I think the thing of thrashing out the concept before you start is essential. That's where Jew failed, and this did not. Oh, right...
Those who know my scores know that I don't give out more than 8 unless it's really good, and this is. I think you could maybe give the reader a little more personality, or perhaps make the writing style slightly more formal but I'm buggered if I know how.
I think with a little more spit and polish this could become an Uncyc masterpiece. A textbook example of the style, but it's just a little rough here and there with a few wording issues and such. Everyone read it out loud to yourself and see if you can make it sound more like the author would actually say it.
I'm happy to nominate this for VFH right now. I'm not sure if you guys want to try to get a few more images together but I think that would help if you do. Some of the VFH voters will totally miss the point of this, but I'm confident that enough will understand the brilliance of this that it will probably be an FA in 3 or 4 days of voting.
|Reviewer:||MrN 03:57, Mar 29|
Wonderful! Thanks so much MrN, you were a great help last night. Since you stated that you would nom this and yet have not done so yet, I will take the liberty of doing it myself with this review in pocket. I'd like to give another "well done" to all Colonizers who took part in this project. —Sir SysRq (talk) 14:58, 29 March 2009 (UTC)