Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Melanie Phillips
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Omnissiuntone 10:42, June 30, 2011 (UTC)
|Humour:||6.5||Alright the humour here is a vbit all over the pace in my humble opinion, and needs to be more consistant in my opinion. Some sections of this artitle contain really exceptional and funny satire, some of the others need to lean away from random and head bac to being properly funny. So I'll go throw it in detail:
Introduction - The quotes are simply awful, either get rid of them entirely or simply start again with them. Simly hating on someone is not funny in the slightest in my opinion. The remainder of the introduction if some of the good essence of the article. The sarcastic humour used here is really good and some of the best parts of the article.
Personal Life - This bit is a messy combination of funny satire and crude to random hatred. Simply pointing out she is in a jewish family isn't funny or really required, just for an example. But there are some really bits as well, for example "After leaving The Guardian, she began in 2001 to write a column for The Daily Mail called 'Mel's Bells'." Is an example of some descent humour in your article. So in summary for this section avoid the random rablings about how much she sucks and stick to making it funny.
Political views - This section is also shaded from its true potential from random and crude hatred, in your first sentecne bring up Obama is really random and a tarnish to this section, try starting that introductory statement again and think it carefully through in fact your latter section on Barack Obbama isn't funny at all, I'd try deleting that section and stick to her true views. "TRUTH IS OFTEN FUNNIER THAN OUTRIGHT LIES OR PLAIN NONSENSE", remember that please. As for the remainder of this section I have no issues, its generally good political sarcasm.
Scientific views - These bits are poorly constructed and are the weakest sections of the article, they need a very good re-write! By which I mean quit stating she believes contrary to the mst popular scientific views and stick closer to what she actually does beleive.
|Concept:||5.5||I think the concept of your article is poorly developed, only because you base your humour off of lies a great deal of the time. Concept and humour go hand in hand, if you have a well developed concept of your subject, then it will shine through into the humour of your article, and vice-versa. In order for your humour to score a perfect 10 you need to dive away from the mad ramblings and stick closer to the truth with your concept. So basically improve your concept and you will improve your humour (or vice-versa).|
|Prose and formatting:||4||This article shows a great deal of promise, but your alarmingly poor formatting is what has scored you that ugly maintainance timestamp. So I'll run through formatting 101.
Have links - Your use of links is alarming poor. Remember links are your friend! You dont need hundreds ut you need a good few and try and distribute them evenly throughout your article.
Bold and italic important information - Liike I've done with this review, if something within a section if vitally important for your reader, then make it bold or italic. It also looks pretty.
Avoid large sections of whitespace - I'm talking about that one under your first image, sometimes unavoidable but try and do something about it if possible.
|Images:||7||You have choosen your images well in my opinion, but try if you can obtain images of perhaps higher resolution and quality than the ones you have. Also adding a last image for the end of your article wouldn't go astray either.
The last point i ish to make is he images you have do help the humour of the sections they are with, so well done in this aspect!
|Miscellaneous:||7||My overall rating out of 10|
|Final Score:||30||I hope this review helped. It shows a great deal of promise and I hope you can get it up to scratch before that tag expires. If it does get deleted before you can, you can always ask an admin to restore the page and move it into your userspace.|
|Reviewer:||04:24, July 7, 2011 (UTC)|