Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Meet the Candidates '08

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search


edit Meet the Candidates '08

I took two days off just to get away from this page, and my first edit when I came back was on it. In short, this page has tormented me. Was it worth it? Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 07:50, 25 September 2008 (UTC)

God my eyes, why did you make those pictures? WHY? The rest was good though, I just suck at Pee Reviews. --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent Icons-flag-au Noobaward Wotm Unbooks mousepad GUN 07:58, 25 September 2008 (UTC)
They needed a kid-sized head/face/body ratio. I too suck a Pee Reviews. I'm still trying to figure out how I got a Golden Shower award for the last one I did. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 08:15, 25 September 2008 (UTC)

I'm reviewing this, for now enjoy Noel with this free coupon. — Sir Sycamore (talk) 13:49, 27 September 2008 (UTC)

A Free Coupon
For a bumming session with Noel Fielding
Humour: 6 Bizarre, It's kind of very amusing, but I reads a lot more like the stuff you write in forums, just longer - I think for example you use general terms that don't really fill out any comedy: L'll Barack and L'll McCain - Barracks about my height and McCain is a bit of a rodent > I think you should give the characterization more work, and this will bring out the comedy value of a personality driven election. The Use of Boxes makes it look a little ugly - the images are quite amusing if a little weird.

The actual substance could have a lot more added, many of the jokes (for people on the site) read like a lot of things you've written on the forums, I think I would try to be more focused on their actual personalities, truth being a lot funnier in the case of politics. As an example the whole right wing politics both here in the UK and the states is a little baffling - for me I find it difficult to believe people take Palin and McCain seriously, as people find the fact the English like David Cameron is a similar oddity - it think the article could have more of this, With regard to the Obama camp, perhaps being more tacky would be better, "President Bling" etc or more of a religious look , I know that both camps in the US are fairly religious, you could maybe have some sort of accusations of some African Tribe elitism being slung across from the MaCain camp, and gook S and M jokes form the Obama camp to McCain.

I like some of the childish comments "Pouts" "just have to say that I think terrorism is bad. Real bad." - this somehow captures the political sphere - as a concealing force in the media - overall although this is good stuff - I think more is needed to shake the mixed feel of the whole thing - it does not have the impact of some of your other works, particularly some of your recent ones.

Concept: 7 Again I'm mixed, the style you've done it in dies not really kick the funny bone as well - I feel like more could be added, the sheer weirdness of it is a good thing, that means it’s not a formulaic shite like all of mine, its the fact that it reads like you've had a forum topic to yourself and then added an American political slant - form here, if it was me I would make the later the foundation and then workup with the other stuff.

Again, this is good stuff, I think it's often the case that if you've established a reputation for doing very good articles the pressure for the next one to be as good makes the criticism for the most recent one harsher (if that makes any sense). I think that with a little more work, adding stuff and maybe making it a little more pretty.

Prose and formatting: 6.5 Good, I’m not so sure about the infantile English they use or the lack of description used to fill out the characterization more, it’s too general and caricature to be as funny as it could be. No red links or spelling I could see, Kind of gappy and messy looking with the boxes - I like them, Maybe if the length increases it'll change this. No major criticisms, I would say that the whole thing needs expansion focusing on each politician more closely so as to open it out a little more.
Images: 6 I think these look weird - not really any diplomatic way of putting that. Somehow they captures their media distortion, because of the childish captions I don't know how funny I can really rate them. Again not a major complaints, I don't know how "funny" they are or whether they're just scary. Although the idea could go places I don't know if these images are helping do that.
Miscellaneous: 6.5 Decent stuff, would do well on VFH. I think more work is needed; I would aim to roll it out around November time though as loads of people will try and copy it then if it gets featured now. I am the "biggest bastard" on peeing and my scores are always low, it’s not a mean thing. I think this is a good article, I think a lot depends on its expansion to fill out the stubbish quality of the sections - whether you'll go for a slightly different style, parodying each candidate more sharply
Final Score: 32 I hope you found my review helpful; should you have questions/complaints, do not hesitate to leave a note on my talkpage.
Reviewer: Sir Sycamore (talk) 12:12, 29 September 2008 (UTC)
I took out the "Li'l"s. I was never really sure if they worked (I'm still not). I moved the boxes back over to the right. They are necessary, and that position seems to be the least page-uglifying.
As for most of some of part of the rest...Hmmm. This will take some pondering. I thought that simplifying an already comically oversimplified election (McCain=maverick, Obama=hope, Palin=maveric, Biden="foreign policy experience") was the way to go. *Ponder* Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 21:08, 29 September 2008 (UTC)
I suppose the question is whether you want to write one that like the election campeign or one that mabye maks a jibe at the American political system, which rigs elections and uses "personlity" politics? — Sir Sycamore (talk) 21:16, 29 September 2008 (UTC)
I dunno. I just wanted to write something different, and ended up with politicians being a mix of the personalities that they present to the world and being little children (just like politicians when the gloves come off). McCain was a POW (but in a game of war, rather than an actual one) and Obama is all about change (even if that change, as with the FISA bill that he voted for, is politics as usual). Nobody knows anything about Biden (except that he's chock full of experience) or Palin (whose handlers rarely let her speak off-script as she, for lack of a better term, is an ignorant boob). As for the "...Obama...perhaps being more tacky would be better, "President Bling" etc..." & "...gook S and M jokes form the Obama camp to McCain", no. I don't do tacky. I'm a class act, all the way (/me scratches bum), and "...more of a religious look , I know that both camps in the US are fairly religious" is problematic as they are all religious, with even Palin's "out there" kookiness not being all that out there for US politics (remember, it's a country where the Republican noms were asked if they believed in evolution and few put up their hands). Lastly, for '""...you could maybe have some sort of accusations of some African Tribe elitism being slung across from the MaCain camp" it's already got one different take on the elitism charge that's regularly bantered about.
As I said earlier, *ponder*. You can quote me on that. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 22:07, 29 September 2008 (UTC)
...and while I'm here... "...many of the jokes (for people on the site) read like a lot of things you've written on the forums..." is true. I sincerely hope that you weren't implying that's a bad thing. The "I like candy" bit is straight from a throwaway comment on the forums, which I've apparently used on four separate occasions. I really do like candy. It was also the line that eventually went on to inspire this page, which just goes to show the value of the Forums. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 23:46, 29 September 2008 (UTC)
Forums rule! And so does candy! Go forums and candy! Wooo! - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 03:12, Sep 30
Obviously. I think that the trainwreck of logic started with having "I like candy!" stuck in my head, then thinking Young Republican for no reason at all, then having a Young Democrat saying that he, too, liked candy, then McCain/Barack as kids...then this. It makes a little sense. It did make more sense before I thought about it. Reminder to self: avoid thinking about thinking. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 03:33, 30 September 2008 (UTC)
For the record, I thought it was pretty funny. It didn't make sense, of course, but then why would you want it to? - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 20:14, Sep 30
For the record, thanks. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 22:41, 30 September 2008 (UTC)
You're welcome, for the record. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 22:47, Sep 30

Personal tools