Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Maggie Thatcher
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Complete rewrite of the utter crap that was there before. Thanks (:
Zukunft 16:32, 4 August 2008 (UTC)
|Humour:||5||This is a big improvement on the earlier versions of the page, but there is too much reliance on the joke of the reader scrolling over the blue links to reveal titles such as Nazi, Criminals etc. This is wrapped within a centrally good idea that Thatcher was originally an uber-babe who became an automaton to win power, but the narrative is not yet strong enough to hammer this idea home with humour.
Quotes - I'd lose the Pinochet one, and build upon the Hitler idea - perhaps something along the lines of "Zat bitch sure showed me how it should be done".
Biography - The gags here are reliant on the links, and don't really focus on the central funny idea ... Thatcher traded her femininity for political success.
Early Career - Weak. How about some references to "milk snatcher", which could be an article in itself.
Achievements When In Power - There is some scope here. Something alone the lines of a road to Damascas conversion that convinced the young Maggie that emasculation and a humour bypass was necessary.
Notable Policies - root this more in reality and there is a lot of scope fro humour.
Missing - where is she now? Sucking on car batteries to keep her circuits charged? Avoiding the midday sun? Give this article some original bite.
|Concept:||6||Margaret Thatcher definitely deserves a good Uncyclopedia page, and this is so much better than the previous stream of consciousness. It's a tough one to pull off, as she's been satarised to death, so it needs a really strong sense of purpose to work.|
|Prose and formatting:||8||No major prose or formatting issues - perhaps too much text after some pictures - and I'd like to see a blue reskin.|
|Images:||7||Nothing remarkable about the images - they support the idea of Thatcher as a gorgeous woman before her "conversion", but the text needs to emphasize this to make them work. I'd like to see a Terminator/Thatcher mash-up.|
|Miscellaneous:||6||Average article, average mark|
|Final Score:||32||There is a lot of scope here - this is so much better than it was before, but concentrate on a central idea about Thatcher's life and rely less upon cunning blue links.|
|Reviewer:||Asahatter (annoy) 22:44, 24 August 2008 (UTC)|