Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/MFI

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edit MFI

Megaman2000 11:35, 28 November 2008 (UTC)

I'll submit a review for this article tomorrow. --Nachlader 21:06, 9 December 2008 (UTC)
Sorry for the delay. --Nachlader 09:43, 11 December 2008 (UTC)
Humour: 5 Appears to be a mix of puns here, a mix blindly thrown into a cauldron and then cooked up, to be precise. I presume the original pun is from the not-half well known furniture shop in Britain, MFI. From there, the humour strings out, if mostly unsuccessfully into further puns, relishing in Motherwell Football Club as well as a farming institute. And then you magically convert the subject back to interior design and whatnot, in rhythm with the real MFI's line of work.

The outcome of this elastic band of events is not too well. It could be improved, but it's not going to be that easy. It's not particularly funny.

Concept: 4 A poisonous mix of an idea surrounding a single accronym; to be honest, that isn't a spectacular idea, considering anyone could easily make an article on a subject, use the accronym to confuse it with something else and then build up content somehow. However, in some cases, it could work (such as confusing the World Wildlife Fund to a wrestling show) but here it's a bit scary and the point of the article appears to be lost in a desert somewhere.

The idea isn't particularly workable either, I can't really suggest much to do with the concept here. I think a concept that focusses on the furtniture shop instead may pull off better than this, however.

Any article could be made about farming, this article wastes a full opportunity to talk and parody the furniture shop in question.

Prose and formatting: 6 Nearly there. An amplitude of typos and mistakes prevent this article from getting the perfectly standard 7, but for me, it settles for a 6 instead. Some of the text is needlessly capitalised ("Leek", "Famine", "Hither For", "Villany", "Bones", it goes on), and some of the text needfully capitalised ("britain", "jesus" x2, "ken Dodds"), there are several red links (plus I've only heard of Peter Stringfellows from Trigger Happy TV, and I doubt many others have even heard of him, so no humour value is apparent from his name) and a quote that doesn't end with a speech mark: " " [...] a solution that whill rock thy world!. Introducing General Cornwallis!!. "

Typos include:

  • "Protecion"
  • "Threasher"
  • "absolutly"
  • "Ghengis Kahn" (should be "Genghis Khan")

There is, however, a good supply of content and sections, even if it does go off course a bit.

Images: 5 Four images supplied, the 5 scoring relies on the supply of images really. Four is sufficient for the length of the article. The first image is very random indeed. It has nothing to do with the actual subject of MFI, but is a picture of a person mentioned in the prose. The second image is clever, but not everyone will get this; not all people are football fans, much less in knowledge of Scottish football (attractive as it is), the third image is okay, but it's the only picture in relation to the furniture shop, plus it already has a caption supplied, this shows laziness in the image choices from the author. The fourth image has no redeeming value whatsoever.

I would suggest changing the third image to another MFI related picture and put it at the top of the article. If you really want to keep the image of the General, I suggest you resize the image and move it elsewhere in the article.

Miscellaneous: 5 Average'd.
Final Score: 25 I would suggest a complete rewrite rather than a mere edit. Lose some of the subjects that the article needlessly branches off to, try and concentrate the humour on the furniture company instead. I've never been into MFI, but I could suggest that by using images of their products, you could talk about each one like "this sofa is great for sleeping on when you've been kicked out of the house by your wife" and such. You don't need to completely overturn it, but if you're willing to edit this article again, be brutal in what you remove.

Good luck, other opinions are available.

Reviewer: --Nachlader 09:43, 11 December 2008 (UTC)
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