Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Lucifer's userpage

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Revision as of 18:39, July 5, 2012 by Saberwolf116 (talk | contribs)

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FAQ

edit Lucifer's userpage

Scofield & The Machine 09:34, June 10, 2012 (UTC)

Terribly sorry for the horrible wait; I'll review it immediately. Saberwolf116 (talk) 06:54, July 5, 2012 (UTC)

Humour: 9 Alright, I've got to be honest: this is fucking brilliant. I know that a Pee Review is supposed to be helpful and constructive, but I can only think of a few things you could do to make this perfect. First off, I'd recommend getting a little more in-depth and expansive. You should definitely add some stuff about Adam & Eve and Jesus. Maybe somehow have Lucifer appear as a snake, and for God to get pissed off about that? Other than that, I think your article is great.
Concept: 8.5 This is a really good idea. God has a userpage, so why shouldn't Satan? One thing, though: you might want to make Lucifer's "Welcome to Hell" message a tad different. Archangel Michael's message shouldn't link to "Beginner's Guide To Being An Uncyclopedian"; it should linking to something like...I dunno "HowTo:Be Evil". Also, that last message feels a little bit out of place. You should add a name to it and maybe have Lucifer respond to it.

And if you have room, maybe you should stick Dante Aligheri and Virgil in. A reference to the Divine Comedy would work great in an article about Lucifer.

Prose and formatting: 9 No complaints, for the most part. One minor thing that annoyed me: the gigantic message at the beginning ("Hello there, my Children...") looks kind of ugly superimposed on those clouds. Could you perhaps change the font color or the background? Other than that, solid spelling, grammar, and formatting all around.
Images: 7 This is perhaps the one part of your article that needs some improvement before we put it on the front page. I know an article based on a talk page doesn't exactly invite images, but you should try to squeeze a few in if you can. If you follow up on my suggestion, you could use a snake for the "Adam & Eve" dialogue. Otherwise, you could always use some of the generic pictures of Satan you'd find in any Google or Bing search...
Miscellaneous: 9 My overall grade of the article.
Final Score: 42.5 Basically,I think you've got an article that's almost feature-worthy. Almost. You just need to revise some very minor formatting and imaging issues, and expand upon your concept a bit more so there's a few more funny lines. Otherwise, well done-once you tweak it some, I'll be happy to vote for it on VFH!
Reviewer: Saberwolf116 (talk) 18:39, July 5, 2012 (UTC)
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