Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Lestat de Lioncourt

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Revision as of 03:39, April 26, 2008 by The Improver (talk | contribs)

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edit Lestat de Lioncourt

FairyGarland 04:03, 25 April 2008 (UTC)

Humour: 4 Mostly, the humor here seems a lot to be focused on the sex jokes and how he is Tom Cruise. This is considered to be say, mostly unoriginal. Because we know Tom Cruise is a scientists and we know he played a vampire. What I think you should to is read up on the wikipedia article about him. Analyze the article, and think to yourself, what can you parody, what can you make funny. Also remove the list, lists should only be used as informational devices, not as tools of humor.
Concept: 6 This is a good concept about a character that has appeared in liteary works, the only flaw is that he's a vampire. A joke that is hard to make workable. Again, you should ditch the concept of this character being Tom Cruise, cause it just doesn't work on an article like this. Instead make the article about the vampire, not about who played it. As the vampire might have something that you could parody.
Prose and formatting: 4 Well, let the sentence speak for itself. "Despite any claims made by Anne Rice, Lestat is actually a real person. Lestat was born of noble birth in France some time in the 1700's. His family didn't seem to have all that much money so he turned to kitten huffing and the teachings of Anton LaVey, by the time he had gone through puberty his dad wanted him out of the house because he was scared Lestat would huff all of his kittens. So a disbanded Lestat was then forced out on the streets where he hooked up with fellow gangsta Nicolas de Lenfent, After a police chase saw the two seeking refuge in a theatre, the two of them ended up being prosecuted on several drug trafficking charges as well as many accounts of violent gang behaviour. . Lestat turned to a career of acting whilst Nicolas became a man-whore as that was all he was good for. This is where Lestat accumulated his bisexual tendency from as Nicolas was more than willing to give it to him for free. Mostly I did some corrections, you'll just have to look around your article for those errors. This sentence is an example on how to correct it.
Images: 4 I kinda like the the one with the sexual prose but can you please remove the movie poster. It has no business in an article like this. Also try looking for images of the two of them together, Lestat killing or whatever you can think of. If you can't find the images. Go on Image Request and request up that image.
Miscellaneous: 4.5 Averaged via Pee Review Guidelines.
Final Score: 22.5 I understand what you're trying to do. Take a vamipre and associate it with Tom Cruise, but it just doesn't work here. Just because Tom Cruise played him doesn't mean that he should be connected to him, no. Real actors like Tom Cruise and Will Smith should be parodied, not fictional characters that an actor plays. I however applaud the effort, but an article like this does have potential. Like I said, read up and think about what you can parody in this character, look deep, seriously find something you can parody. Also note HTBFANJS and the featured articles. Which can be used as refrences. Have any comments, leave them at my talk page. I wish your article the best of luck in the future.
Reviewer: The Improver talkcontribs03:39, Apr 26 2008 (UTC)
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