I'm assuming that what is below the review table is your article. I'm going to move it over to User:Benbenbenb11/Lego Star Wars for you so I may properly review it. I doubt other reviewers would be this nice, and I know I won't be this nice the next time. In the future, please have a separate page for your article when submitting something to Pee Review. Thanks! ~MinitrueSirSysRq!Talk!Sex!=/GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 19:48 Mar 1
Virtually no humor. You're just saying that the game is stupid and then telling the reader about the storyline. (which I'm assuming is accurate, I have no idea, as I've never played it) You need to have a concept in order to have jokes. Once you have a good concept, you need to write jokes that are consistent and that have some depth and sophistication. I can't give you a very long review, since this article isn't that long itself.
Virtually no concept. Try coming up with your own, alternate storyline to parody the game. Perhaps the main character is on a quest to make Lego video games legitimate, or maybe the game is simply designed to make parents think video games aren't all that bad. Start thinking outside the box. I'm sure you can come up with something. Work these things out on your namespace. That's why I moved the article to your namespace. Keep working on it there until you have some good ideas to work off of.
Prose and formatting:
Unacceptable. I count numerous errors in spelling, capitalization, grammar, and prose. Your tone is very unprofessional. Try to stay didactic when writing articles of this nature, it helps to add an air of legitimacy to it, which is much funnier than the mindless ramblings of a 12 year old who didn't like the game he just bought with his Christmas money. The proofreading service is here for you, so if you have any doubts about your grammar and such, get them to have a look at it.
You have to give me some images in order for me to give you a score. I can't rate something that isn't there. Come up with some images of your own, say, edited box art or some screenshots of the game. If you don't have the tools or the skills to do this yourself, don't worry. Get someone else to do it. You need images to save this from VFD/QVFD.
We can rebuild it. We have the technology. This is an extremely poor article that is most likely going to be deleted if you put it on the mainspace. But never fear! You have many resources at your disposal. Ask for help and it will come. You have people. Spend some serious time with this, it could be really good with a lot of work. But right now, it's just...awful. I can't think of any other word to describe it. Certainly not fit for the mainspace. But keep it in your namespace for now so that it will be safe while you work on it. Holla at me if you want me to have another look at it, or if you just need more pointers. I'm more than happy to help.