I know this looks like gamecruft and it probably is, but I worked hard to make it accesable. Any ideas for further improvement? I'm not really looking for a feature, but let me know if I'm in the same ball park (I'm not, but maybe...)? Orian57Talk02:30 22 June 2009
Hmm. Well Orian, I have to acknowledge that this is an immense improvement to the clusterfuck of an IP article that this was before. That being said, it still needs some work. I was confused as to what exactly you were parodying. Were you making fun off the game's emphasis on the number 4? Were you making fun of it's lack of plot? To make someone laugh, you need to put some jokes in the writing. Right now, this sort of looks like a toned down version of the Wikipedia article. I'd recommend you be a little more ironic in your writing: state something about the game, and then maybe state some glaring flaw with that part of said game.
Left 4 Dead is a well known video game, so I think we should have an article about it. The main problem about the concept is that, as stated above, it mostly comes across as gamecruft, with few or no jokes at all. As difficult as this may be to do, I have an idea as to where you could go with your concept: write it in the same style as Guildy's Metal Gear Solid articles. Have the surivivors interacting with each other like they do in those articles, while simotaneously slipping in jokes about the gameplay and plot. This, IMO, is the best way you could do your article, and if you wanted a bonus, use the black backround from I'm coming to get you. Of course, you could write a standard 3rd person encyclopedic article, but try to make sure it doesn't sound like gamecruft by cutting down on the character descriptions (more on that below).
Prose and formatting:
Your spelling, for the most part, is pretty good. The main problem that I want to address here is repeating of styles. Your description boxes for the characters and zombies can get a tad repetitive. I think you should summarize the main characters in a paragraph or two, addressing their common qualities and unique features in a satrical tone. You also might want to spell check this a few more times, just to make sure that you've gotten rid of excess red-links and occasional spelling errors.
They illustrate your article alright, and they're not really random. See my above rant about repetition.
My overall grade of the article.
I'm glad that this article is at least coherent, and that we have a less fanboyish subject about Left 4 Dead. If you're going to keep working on this and maybe make if VFG, I think you need to add more of a central theme to it, making it seem less like gamecruft and more like a thorough parody. If you wanted to be dramatic, go for the UnScripts-Mainsapce hybrid- that could become a feature if you write it right.
Bottom Line:Write your article so that it has a more central theme. In other words: more jokes, less facts. Good luck! =)