Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Laws of Physics
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
J-Shea 05:04, 6 December 2008 (UTC)
|Humour:||4||I like the basic idea of pointing out the scientific flaws of cartoons. However, it is just a simple, unadorned list. It's not particularly original either.
Chuck Norris? Why? You may think Chuck is funny, but when he turns up on every other page on the site, the joke wears thin very quickly. He has nothing to do with the subject matter. I'd suggest replacing him with Dr. Harry Warner, Dr. Albert Warner, Dr. Sam Warner and Dr. Jack Warner: Collectively known as the Warner Brothers. Maybe they're mavericks who liked to present their findings in animated form.
Also, random dates are not funny, for similar reasons to Chuck.
I also don't like how you've mixed together religion and science. God doesn't really have anything to do with the discovery of scientific principles, his role is merely to create everything and leave it to us to understand it.
The best way, I think to draw humour from this is by presenting the rules in a serious manner, perhaps with made up formulae, experiments or graphs. A lot more content needs to be added. Maybe use some specific examples from cartoons, but described in a scientifically precise manner.
|Concept:||6||Not particularly original, but there's plenty of scope for a good article here.|
|Prose and formatting:||7||You've misspelled "disembowelments," but, other than that, the writing seemed fine.|
|Images:||6||Just the one image, but it fits the subject matter well and adds to the page.|
|Final Score:||29.25||This is a short article and needs a lot of work. Each of the laws needs a paragraph of explanation. Make sure you read How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid for further writing advice. You've already fallen foul of two of its "don'ts".|
|Reviewer:||--15:27, 6 December 2008 (UTC)|