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It's my article and I know it sucks and it has a ICU. If you can, help me to save this article!
HelloByeBye 20:39, September 13, 2009 (UTC)
- got it. --Mn-z 05:44, October 1, 2009 (UTC)
|Concept:||3||Ok, first off, avoid the literary |
You could try a "friend of the subject inadvertently insults it" style. For example: Ussher UnNews:Obama shamelessly pushes liberal agenda on schoolchildren. If you go this route, remember never to break the "style" or you'll ruin everything after the point of the breaking. This is probably your best bet, as its fairly easy to do and it generally results in a decent article.
Or, you could do a "Article written in the style of its subject", although I don't know if this would work for a game company. Some examples of this include Captain Obvious, Sonic the Hedgehog, and Drill sergeant. Again, here, style can not be broken without ruining the article.
If you decide to keep the attacky route, you'll need some turn-of-phrases and other forms of humor to make it funny. For example, a "deadpan" entry like at the start of George Washington Carver, is always good. Also, try to explain why the subject sucks, not simply mentioning that it sucks.
|Prose and Formatting:||5||You have the following formatting issues.
|Images:||5.5||You have the subject's logo, its generally a good idea to have an image of the subject at the top. However, that should be the first image, and on the right. Generally, you'll want to alternate between right and left on the images, but images on the right in lists, and avoid "walls" of images. An Image wall is where in image is directly overtop another image. If there is a long wall, it can mess up the edit tabs, like on User:Mnbvcxz/Christian Left (warning, link is NSFW). You only have two images right now. BTW, the wikipedia template should also be lower.
Also, try to avoid cliche images. I would recommend replacing the image of Mickey Mouse with a screenshot from a LJN game.
|Humour:||3||You're main problem is that your trying to use insults in lieu of humor. Like I said in the concept section, it won't work.
|Improvability Score:||4||Ok, your main issue here will be notablity. I personally have never heard of LJN, and it went under 15 years ago. Parody is generally not funny when the reader doesn't know what is being parodied. Also, you really don't have that much material right now. (Assume the list is clutter. You have 1.5 paragraphs.) I don't think this will be too hard, but you still have alot of work.|
|Final Score:||20.5||Graceless Insults are not funny.|
|Reviewer:||--Mn-z 06:37, October 1, 2009 (UTC)|