Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Keith Lemon (rewrite)
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Megaman2000 11:48, 30 December 2008 (UTC)
Not bad brother, I have no idea how to pee review, but yeah, if you want me to I can fix your terrible spelling, grammar and formatting :P. I was laughing my ass off the whole time, just found it hard to read at times xD. Are you like 14 years old? -- 17:53, 2 January 2009 (UTC)
- Read PEEING, and make an account. Sire それは驚くばかりの性交である!! -4- (19:20 01-3-2009)
|Humour:||8||Yes. Some good giggles in there. Your timing and delivery are good. My criticism is that in places it wanders slightly away from being funny into being un-necessary random. Random, but related to the subject is OK, when it's just random for randoms sake, that's not really funny. You have a fair bit of material here, so I think you can do to loose some of it. Pick which bits you like the least, and remove them. Be merciless. If it's not actually that good, chop it. You know which bits you like the most, and least... Surely there should be some reference to him being Ginger? Oh, I loved the way you imitate how he talks... I think you use the Manchester Suxs line once too often, maybe that can be removed... Not sure.
I did not get the Rhino Jeans bit, but that's probably because I don't know him that well. You might want to (maybe) take a look at Clementine Attlee I co wrote this with Mhaille I wonder if you could use the fruit thing, and blend some juice into this a bit by making fun of his name? Maybe have him violently reacting to someone doing so. Sorry, I can't give many more suggestions, but I don't really know him that well. One thought could be people mistaking him for Owen Wilson?
|Concept:||7||Well, I don't really know the actor or his characters that well, but I looks to me like you are doing a good job. Have you looked at this? I can always get a few ideas for new material by reading the Wikipedia page. I guess the concept is that you are portraying the character as being a real person. That's OK, but maybe not the most original... Still good though. Maybe if you included details of his relatives and their exploits? You could use Leigh Francis' other characters, and have them feature in the story. Make a fabricated world based around Leigh's characters, and maybe even have them arguing with each other and such. There should be some kinda subtle reference to Leigh Francis the man just for those who know. ;) You should probably have more about the things which the character has done blended in so that fans will find the references.|
|Prose and formatting:||5.5||GET FIREFOX!!! Seriously. Your spelling needs it. ;) I'm probably a worse speller than you myself, but Firefox has a built in spell checker (if you install it) and it's REALLY useful. Seriously. Firefox = good. You are insistant in a few places how you use your punctuation, but that can be fixed easily if you read through again a few more times...|
|Images:||4||Well only 2. You need more. The main pic is a good one, but the rest of the article desperately needs some more images to make it look nicer. Try to keep it to just 1 or 2 red links per page... When you use text, if it's more than one line, it's best to put it into a block
As per normal, look at what other editors do in other articles, and copy what you think looks good.
|Final Score:||30.6||This does not really look like that great of a score. However... You got an 8 for humour. That's the hard bit. The rest (formatting pics and such) is less difficult to take care of. There is a lot more material which you can use if you go into the exploits of the characters...
You obviously have some writing talent, I look forward to seeing what you can do with this page in the future... Basically, it's a dam good rewrite, but needs a bit of TLC around the edges to take it to the next level. Oh... GET FIREFOX!!!.
|Reviewer:||MrN 22:22, Feb 11|