As a Brit, I do not know this character so there will be jokes I miss. There are a couple of very funny bits, I loved the Taylor Swift ticket line and the marshall arts angle was good. It is a good framework, but it is also rife for expanding the humor:
One important moment that even he called the best of his career is arranging the government shutdown of 1995. But over his two decades in the House, no one actually who this Kasich guy is. In fact, his colleagues nickname him "That Guy".
With a twist of irony:
Kasich's highest Political achievement to date was supporting the partial shutdown of the Federal Government in 1995, over spending money on education, health and the environment. With such a high-profile standing, and clear vision of a country full of uneducated, unhealthy, chemical burning squirrel killers, it was a wonder that after his two decades in the House, no one actually knew who he was. In fact, his colleagues nicknamed him "Erm... that guy... I think".
Keeping it simple, the strategy is a wry bio of a US Presidential Candidate. It needs some daft transitions and unpredictability, like the Taylor Swift line. Bring it back to earth occasionally and keep the reader off guard with a finish they won't expect.
The article's overall quality - that indefinable something.
Nice piece that covers a US Presidential candidate, it left me wanting more. There is a lot of humour to be drawn out of those paragraphs, expanding on the detail of events with a view to injecting jokes and lines. This would beef-up the article without having to add more information.
I think that it's an OK article, but it's slightly lacking, though it has potential. There are some bits that I like, such as the milkman reference, the Taylor Swift joke, the kung-fu and the 'crazy' Ted Cruz remark†. However, I think that the 2016 election section could be expanded upon. The ending is also quite abrupt - I don't think it should talk events in the future (such as the Ohio primaries), and it's a bit too truthful where it could be perhaps more biting (i.e 'However, he was considered the sane one in the debates and that led to abysmal polling for him.'). Remember that Kasich did quite well in Noo Hampshire, and he's one of the 5/22s of the Republican field who hasn't quit yet, so perhaps there's more to come that you can add.
As one who hails from the UK, I can't give you that much input on Mr. Kasich as I don't really know the man. But I still think that this article has potential, and I hope that I've been able to help you in any way. :)
†I like the idea that there's a 'crazy wing' of the Republican Party. Would it be possible to expand on that, possibly linking to another article or something? Or would the whole joke work better in a different article?
In "Early life" I don't just want to be told that he wanted to be the pope; I want funny images to be put into my head. Did he make a pope hat out of newspaper? Did he ride his tricycle while referring to it as his popemobile? Did he collect "holy" water from Lake Erie and use it to "bless" sea gulls with the water and then preside over their funerals after they died from whatever the hell is tainting the water of Lake Erie?
That brings us to what I feel is an underused source of humor in your article -- Uh-hi-yah! If I were you, I would remove the word "failed" from the lead and tell readers why Ohio is a failed state (with humorous exaggeration, distortion, or understatement of course) in the body of the article. Maybe something like, "After being elected governor Kasich swam upstream in a feces-filled tributary of the Ohio river to get to his office, like all white collar workers in Ohio." Okay, that's a shitty example (no pun intended). Maybe you need something more directly related to failure like, "Through a bureaucratic error made by a federal agency during the Reconstruction Era, some agencies had ceased to recognize Ohio as a state aligned with the union. Kasich was aware of this on his first day of office but did not petition the federal government to recognize Ohio as the ally of the other states until three years had passed and he learned that the Confederacy had lost the Civil War."
Maybe there's also a joke to be made about how Kasich has to be pretty bad, considering how many other candidates have plopped out of Ohio's womb.
There's something funny about imagining Nixon in his Nixony voice saying, "You stupid freshman." I think the humor lies partly in the idea that Nixon, even at the peak of his political career, had never lost his petty need to assert his superiority over others. Maybe you could build on this by saying something like, "Nixon responded by pushing him into an open locker and saying, 'Go away . . .'" -- well, no need to repeat the rest because you have already nailed it!
Your concept might almost be too thought out. The problem with so many Uncyclopedia articles is that they are all jokes with no straight man. Here there seems to be a lot of straight man and not quite enough jokes. Mind you, I have not followed Kasich's political career all that much, so perhaps some of your jokes are lost on me.
How are the images? Are they relevant, with good quality and formatting?
Your images are sized well, and you have enough of them; I think that if you added a few more there would be too many. The only shortcoming goes back to the humor thing; if you can find a funnier image to substitute for either of the first two, especially the second one, go for it!