Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/John Boehner
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Orbhunterx 19:46, November 6, 2010 (UTC)
|Humour:||5||This article has some decent jokes, but didn't make me laugh. I believe you should've written more about the jokes and developed them into a theme. In particular, you could've made Boehner's orange skin a huge theme in the article, perhaps comparing him to other orange things and his soon to be victory as speaker an emotional victory for orange people and animals. This could be mixed together with his crying, as this article should not have just one theme.
I believe "Boehner during the Obama years" is too narrow of a topic. You could develop another (sub) theme could be the conservatism of John Boehner and maybe even the Republican Party. You could exaggerate or be sarcastic about the flaws and hypocrisies of conservatism. Now, the second section - the reference to Barney Frank was fine, but overall the second section just wasn't dramatic enough. The "Personal Life" section is my favorite, but could be improved. The crying shouldn't be just limited to this section. If you choose to talk about crying in this section, you could either make it a funny disorder, and/or make the crying more closely aligned with his personal life. For example, you could say "John Boehner always has a few tissues in his wallet - it is more important to him than his drivers license".
I wrote Glenn Beck. This article is a biography, and I'm not saying change it so it's a transcript like the Beck article is. But, since both Beck and Boehner are American conservatives, I recommend taking a look at the article. I attempted to have multiple themes in the article, and I'd say the main themes were the founding fathers and progressivism. The article has sub themes such as Obama, and free Medicare for grandma was a recurring joke. The article also included a lot of sarcasm and exaggeration.
|Concept:||8||This is a great idea. The article has a lot of potential and if the article is improved, it could be a masterpiece.|
|Prose and formatting:||8||This is the strongest aspect of the article. The article appears to be well formatted and the spelling appears to be fine.|
|Images:||6||It took a while for me to get the reference to Hitler. To make it easier to get, you should state in the caption that he is German. The second image, I assume you're referring to him surrendering on the Bush taxes, but I'm not sure. You might want to clarify what you meant. The third image was the best, but the caption was weak. I think I get it, but I didn't find it funny. I think it would've been funnier if it didn't just use house terms. Perhaps the caption should be: "I rise to speak on behalf the orange people *sob*. Becoming the Speaker of the House proves they can do anything". And You should get an image of Boehner in which his orange skin is greatly exaggerated, if not pure orange, by either finding one on Google Images or by photoshoping your own.|
|Final Score:||33||This article is a great effort. Although it isn't bad, it needs more work, especially the humor and images. All in all, the article has a lot of potential|
|Reviewer:||Dare Devil 17:49, November 15, 2010 (UTC)|