Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Joe Pesci

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edit Joe Pesci

Funnybony 22:01, 7 August 2009 (UTC)

I'll be giving you a review for this one. Sequence 03:20, 9 August 2009 (UTC)

Humour: 6 There is some pretty good humour here and the fact that you have blurred the line between his acting career and his real life is nice. Some of it is a little iffy, such as the line 'stabbing her in the neck over 60 times with a pencil', you could just say 'stabbing her in the neck with a pencil' since there is no need for the number. It just binds the joke down as it is clear you have picked an absurdly high random number and so it looks like someone made it up as opposed to a made-up fact. The best part of your humour is actually in the first part of the article as it parodies the wikipedia article nicely. There parts where it starts to fall down are once you begin the lists. Of all those lists the only one that is unique to Joe Pesci is the first one since it is a list of the people who he has attacked in his movies. You could replace his name with any number of people for the 'how to survive one'. Yes there are some references to what he has done in movies but things like "If you think your chances of surviving Joe Pesci are 99 out of 100...", if you replace the word Joe Pesci with Chuck Norris is becomes a Chuck Norris joke (which is bad). So cut that section. The Trivia one is similar. You have some examples that vaguely relate to him, but if you change some names around it could go on any of the 'badasses' pages. The religion one is just a plain bad list, a bunch of people not related to him in any way. So cut out the last three lists and the article will be much better. It might be shorter but the humour won't be lost that way. You might also want to cut out one or two quotes at the top, just because you have several more throughout the article and they can become hackneyed. I've docked the score just a bit because of all the lists that don't add to the humour.
Concept: 7 As I said in the beginning of the humour sectin merging his acting career with his real life is a good move. He isn't all that famous, most (younger) people will recognise him from the Home Alone movies, so perhaps you could play up that aspect a bit. I don't really have much to suggest here since you have done a pretty good job parodying his acting career here.
Prose and formatting: 8 Your grammar and spelling are pretty good from what I can see. You might try raising the picture of the baseball bat just a bit higher so that some text appears in between it and the revolver picture. There were a few incidents of miscapitalisation that I saw, just remember that if it isn't a name or at the beginning of the sentence, or for emphasis, then it shouldn't be capitalised. There are also two redlinks that you should edit out to make it look nicer.
Images: 7 For the length you have I would probably add just one more picture, but since I've advised you to cut back on the total size I would actually suggest you cut back on one of the pictures as well instead. Whether you choose the one of the ant or the one with the youtube caption is up to you. The captions are alright, although the one of the revolver is the only one that really stands out. As an amendum to the comment in the concept part, perhaps you could change one of the photos to one of him in the home alone movies. I'm sure you could come up with a good caption for one where he is all burnt and had his hair torn off and clothes all slimey etc.
Miscellaneous: 7 It's a decent enough article at the moment although it could still be improved a bit.
Final Score: 35 Like I said before cut down on the lists and quotes. You may want to see if you are able to expand on the other sections a bit more to compensate the loss of length. It's a pretty solid article at the moment that could turn out nicely.
Reviewer: Sequence 03:20, 9 August 2009 (UTC)


Hi Seq!!! Thanks for the very helpful review. I made all the changes you suggested (except the 99/100 quote, which is from Casino. See, in a Norris joke the 1% chance would be totally fucking impossible). I also made new picture of Home Alone to replace the "ant" nonsense. I also made only one quote at the start which is changed around to Pesci threatening the Director of Casino. Let me know what else too do. You help is greatly constructive. BTW: Both Casino and Goodfellas our two of the greatest movie ever made, with Pesci just awesome. Thanks...--Funnybony 13:16, 9 August 2009 (UTC)

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