Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Jesus theory
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I spent a lot of time on this article. Mainly I read almost every Jesus related article and then settled on a funny and interesting way of expressing the simple theory of all of their conceptions, as well as adding far too much extra info which ultimately has little to do with the Jesus theory, but somehow technically is related to it, so hence it is rightfully there.
I uploaded all the images used. Most of them were found via random and extensive research which uncovered vast amounts of Jesus related pictures, some of which inspired me to write part of the article and build jokes around.
If you compare my article to most of the other Jesus ones, you will see that I had tried to remain true to as many of them as possible. One of my favorite references to the original Jesus article is: "its not like the bastard had time getting laid while he was “bigger than The Beatles”."
I am always open to suggestions, and hope you like my article!
Oh and, refreshing the page reveals more quotes. Taydus 10:46, 22 February 2008 (UTC)
- *sigh* Let's get to work.
|Humour:||7||I'll be real honest with you. I was expecting to see some really awful jokes here. I saw some of what I expected, but I also saw a sharp wit and I like that. You've got a pretty good sense of humor, and for what you had to work with, it's really pretty good. Now, I'm not saying that this article knocked me on the ass. It didn't even really make me laugh. But I could appreciate some of these jokes because they showed me that here's a good writer with the wrong idea. For doing the best you could with what you had to work with, you get my seven. There were still a lot of sections here that were just plain unfunny, however. The whole bit about God going around fucking virgins (which was the bulk of this article) just wasn't that fresh. Gahh.|
|Concept:||4||The concept was a noble attempt at reviving a stale joke that most of Uncyclopedia is pretty tired of. Hell, I'm the one who rewrote the Jesii article and even I think that the whole Jesus thing has become just a terrible hot mess. But you've done your research, and at least it ties in with the other articles well enough. Whether or not that's a good thing is not up to me to decide. But your execution isn't all that bad, the way you present this is alright. Most writers tend to avoid Jesus articles these days, and this is why.|
|Prose and formatting:||5||I think Prose should be its own section, because if it were, that score would be much different from the Formating score. Your writing is pretty good, there's a few errors here and there but that's okay. Just promise me you'll proofread this. As for your formatting, it's god awful. Nearly unreadable. There's just too many images all over the place. Plus, you need to get rid of the unnecessary templates at the beginning, they're pointless. They're really hard on the eyes. That's why this score is going to stay pretty low. I'm forced to compromise between giving you a good score for Prose and a bad score for Formatting. You get this okay score, the average of what I wanted to give you.|
|Images:||2||Again, there's just too many images. You need to pwn a lot of em. The ones you have are appropriate for the most part. It's just too much. Nice captions, though. I think you could pretty much ix-nay all the pictures aligned to the left margin and that'll be most of what you need to get rid of. Oh, and I'm iffy about them comic strips, too. I'm tempted to take more points away for those, because unless they're really relevant and necessary, borrowing humor from other people (fuck free use, I still say that's a bit tacky) usually isn't a good idea.|
|Miscellaneous:||4.5||Avg'd using Pee.|
|Final Score:||22.5||Wow, your scores are really all over the place. I guess to make my point clear amongst the jarble I just spent the last 15 minutes typing up, you're a fine writer. I just think you need to come up with some better ideas than this. Try going and looking through articles that need rewriting and seeing if there's an idea that strikes your fancy. I honestly think your talents would be put to better use on another article other than this one. Something like this will never reach VFH, no matter how many times you rewrite it.|