Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Jamie Lynn Spears

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edit Jamie Lynn Spears

Ever want to pee on Britney Spears' little sister? This is your chance! DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 23:08, September 8, 2009 (UTC)

This is absolutely perfect in every way, even more than perfect! It deserves 100 points out of 50, and is the greatest article ever written since the last greatest article every written, which was also written by my Mommy Miley Spears! All right, maybe I shouldn't review my own mother's article. Somebody else had better do this. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 16:53, September 9, 2009 (UTC)
That's OK son! Mommy won't pee on you if you don't pee on Mommy! At least not in public on purpose. Mommy understands babies have accidents! DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 00:35, September 11, 2009 (UTC)
I got this one. --Mn-z 04:49, October 2, 2009 (UTC)
Concept: 6.5 Right now the article is short, if not stubby. Although it does not violate UN:HTBFANJS and is fairly well written, its fairly bland right now. Not that is lacks jokes, I'm just not feeling for some reason. I would class it as better than a deserving a rewrite but below VFG-level. I think your main problem is that there really isn't that much too talk about. You basically cover everything major, i.e. she's a clone of Britney and she got pregnant at 16. If fact, you mention almost all the stuff on wikipedia's article about her.

I think you'll probably want to do a "" type article to make up for the lack of the source material. Or you could do it from the point of view of a tween girl fan or something. I don't think a "generic format" article will work very well for this. "In the style of" type articles normally aren't as depend on "actual content" as generic format articles are. Changing the style will require a rewrite, but I think it would be worth it.

Regarless of the format, you'll need to add more material to this one. I would recommend expanding what you already have, basically try to work in more prose and jokes.

Prose and Formatting: 6 You have some minor formatting issues. Most of it is minor cosmetic issues.
  • Try to avoid walls of images. I would put the 2nd image on the left.
  • I would suggest adding a see also section. It adds length, making you article look longer.
  • I would suggest using some subheaders. In an article that short, I would use all level three headers (i.e. ===Title===. To many headers make the article look ugly and stubby.
  • You might want to add a link to wikipedia the template for that is {{wikipedia}}
  • I also noticed you had "Shields" in place of "Spears", which I corrected. You might want to try reading the article out loud to catch any grammar mistakes or incorrect words.
Images: 7 The images are appropriate, but a little large.

I don't believe there are any good pics of Jamie Lynn pregnant on the internet, so inserting the pic of Britney is ok.

You might also want to get a different "header pic" too if you can find one.

Of course, if you can find funny images of Jamie Lynn, it would be preferable.

Humour: 6.5 I would lose the 2nd to last paragraph section. Its rather wordy, and really not that funny.

Also is the quote, "morning sickness, weight gain, horribly painful childbirth, then changing 10,000 diapers. But your boobies get bigger! What could be cooler?" a paraphrase of an actual statement? I remember reading a quote by Natasha Hamilton that basically said the same thing.

I just noticed that she is now 18, after looking up her page on wikipeida. You should probably mention that fact somewhere in the article.

Improvability Score: 5 I think this article might be hard to improve, unless you some ideas.
Final Score: 31 Right, now, its decent, and we've had alot worse on similar actresses.
Reviewer: --Mn-z 05:36, October 2, 2009 (UTC)
Thanks for the review! You must use your own template. It's short I know, and maybe I could rewrite it as a fan article. I worked so much on Wikipedia that my articles sound like takeoffs. It's weird about images. Some people say "put them all on the right none on the left it breaks the flow of the text if some are on the left" and others say "don't put them all on the right put some on the left!" lol I'll add the Wikipedia link. I don't know where I got the pregnancy quote it just popped in my head. Oh and I do have her age it's in the photo caption. That way it updates automatically I got that from Wikipedia. Also can I spork myself? Thanks! DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 01:10, October 3, 2009 (UTC)
I didn't see the age thing below her picture. I was assuming she was still under 18 until I saw an online magazine mentioning that she is now legally an adult. --Mn-z 04:46, October 3, 2009 (UTC)
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