Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Interstate 43
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Cameraonself 14:45, March 13, 2010 (UTC)
|Concept:||3||Ok, to begin with, the subject matter is not a good subject for an Uncyclopedia article. Basically, very few people know anything about the subject, or really care. At best, a highway article consists of "towncruft" about locations along the highway or attempted satire about the highway itself. Highways to not have high humor potential, what is funny about a highway? At best you would answer a wrongway concurrency, a poorly-laid out intersection, or subpar road conditions. These things are not funny to those who have never driven the road in question, and in 99% of cases, they aren't funny to those who are aware of them either.
I generally dislike saying this, but: I would advise you to cut your losses and abandon this article now. Any changes or improvements I suggest later should be taken as hypotheticals you should apply in later articles.
When choosing a subject, try to select something that has several points that can be satirized. Generally, try to avoid writing random-but-funny until you know to write good satirical articles consistently. Paradoxically, it is easier to write a "standard-good" article than a "bad-in-form but funny" article. If you try to make it random, you will tend to overly depend on memes, inside jokes, sex, violence, and the like instead of satire. The end result will be a weak article. However, if you try make a more tame article, you will be forced to write more cleverly and pay closer attention to how you deliver jokes rather.
Looking at the article itself, there are several issues:
|Prose and Formatting:||6||Your article looks reasonably well formatted. However, your article is short, and potential problems are not apparent in short articles. I see the following issues:
|Images:||5||Since its a bad subject, it doesn't have any obivous good images. I would recommend getting rid of the "Jerry Seinfeld Interstate" pic, it comes across as name-droppy.
Ideally, you'd want an image of the subject itself if possible, failing that, an image that could pass for the subject. You will also want an image or 2 that is inherently funny, and still related to the subject. Try to avoid images that are cliche (either on uncy. or the internet as a whole). Generally, the first pic should of the subject, relatively deadpan, and on the right. After that, alternate between right and left as much as is possible without messing up the formatting. Try to avoid having images on top of images, it makes your article look cluttered, and appear to be an "image vomit" [i.e an article that depends almost entirely on images for humor.]
|Humour:||3||Basically, what I said the concept section. Inserting an internet memes or vulgarity should not be punchline. Since the humor here is in a written format, it needs to be more clever than, say a Youtube vid, to come across as funny instead of stupid.|
|Improvability Score:||2.5||This is going to be a very difficult article to improve. There are no good or even decent articles on a similar subject. All of them would possibly (if not probably) fail a VFD nomination. If you haven't read them already, I'd advise reading Beginner's_Guide and UN:HTBFANJS if you haven't already.
Also, if you want more feedback, please leave a comment on my talk page. Although all the reviews I do are on my watch list, so are many, many other pages, and I overlook this page.
|Final Score:||19.5||Try a different subject|
|Reviewer:||--Mn-z 02:25, March 14, 2010 (UTC)|