Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/I don't know
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This guy was the result of a late night at my friend's house. After reading it the next day after I got sober, I decided it was funny but needed a little more. Any advice would be awesome.
- I don't know why I'm going to review this-- 18:41, 6 February 2008 (UTC)
|Humour:||5||As the score indicates, the humor is the weakest section. I don't think it's terrible, it's an interesting and clever read - unfortunatley I didn't lol or giggle. It's obviously repetitious. HTBFANJS says this can be a good thing, or it can make the joke dead. In this situation, it's not very good. That said, a bit of variety is in need. I have a few ideas that come into my mind. The first one is the narrator blurting out "I know" every now and than. The second one is perhaps the author doing outside things besides writing the article, i.e. taking a bathroom break. Or think of something better, my ideas aren't great. I know you can, you're a creative person.
I also think this article needs a different approach. It's a bit injokeish at parts, such as when it states HTBFANJS, how to write a featured article, the Main Page and so on. Instead, perhaps state "I don't know what this place is. How does it work? or "I don't what what I'm doing right now. What am I doing?" These lines I wrote could be much better but these are just some ideas on how to include the in-jokes.
Whatever you do with the article, I suggest keeping the final line. That was a strong ending.
|Concept:||6||The concept of self reference has been done before. Still, in this form, this concept is original.|
|Prose and formatting:||7||Nice use of formatting, links, paragraphs, pictures etc. This is good in a way, but is also bad in a way. I think it should use bad formatting because an ignorant n00b could not write an article with excellent formatting. If you do this, you could include a line saying "I don't know why this article looks so ugly."
Finally, if you keep nice formatting, or switch to bad, this article needs headers. That was the weak part of the formatting
|Images:||8||Good images, espacially the first one. The second one isn't needed as it's not very funny and it doesn't add much IMO. If you decide to keep it, you should largen the pixel size.|
|Miscellaneous:||6||I think this is a nice article and rewrite, espacially for a first draft.|
|Final Score:||32||32 - pretty decent score and under UN:PRG, the article would be Nearly adequate/adequate so nice job my friend. Just work on it more and this will shine.|
|Reviewer:||--19:28, 6 February 2008 (UTC)|