Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/I Can't Believe It's Not Butter

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edit I Can't Believe It's Not Butter

Who wants to be a MILLIONAIRE??????????????? review this pee? Note that there are a couple of stubs, one which could be very interesting...

thematrixeætsyou, the sexy beast (talk) (flames) 08:11, 7 April 2008 (UTC)

Humour: 7 The article itself presented its information with a serious face, but it did not manage to instill humour in with the article. I would almost mistake this article for a Wikipedia one, save for the end. I nearly wet myself laughing at the “I Can’t Believe its not a Hyperlink”, which I strongly believe I will remember for a long time. This article, if you work hard and well, has plenty of potential to reach a 9, but to do this, I would strongly recommend a read over of HTBFANJS
Concept: 7 I have had the grim misfortune of seeing quite a lot of “I Can’t Believe” advertisements, but I admit that I would NEVER have thought of turning it into a movie, and writing a fictional screenplay about it. This left plenty of room for satire, but I do not think you rode it all the way out. The “information” presented in this article was, for the most part, presented in a boring, factual way, and almost sounds too much like a real movie. To bump this up, add maybe an outrageous plot device (or two).
Prose and formatting: 6 If there is one problem that caught my attention within the first couple of minutes, it is the mounds and mounds of red links all over the article. Red links, in small amounts, are tolerable, but as they rack up, they take away from the article BIG TIME. I do not have many complaints about your grammatical structure, which was well designed and laid out. I did find a few plot snags, you only briefly mentioned the French Army, yet you imply that the French are the only hope. Also, during the limousine ride, you say that Mary “using her video message protocol,” sends out a message, and is knocked out when the limo driver finds her with a radio. The problem is that, last I checked, Radios do not emit images.
Images: 7 The images both look good where they are, and you did a decent job with the photoshopping, but the bottom is a bit too crowded. I think that the UnFilm would look best on the top left of the screen, and the “No Pictures” template can go. I would recommend leaving the “I can’t believe its not” alive and well at the bottom.
Miscellaneous: 6.75 Avg’d as per Pee Review guidelines
Final Score: 33.75 I would say this is about the average Uncyclopedia article, but a few things can be done to possibly polish it up to featured.
  1. Read HTBFANJS
  2. Watch one of those morbid commercials for I Can’t Believe it’s not Butter
  3. Fix the inconsistencies, there are a few more then I mentioned
  4. Burn the red links. Actually, massacre them.
  5. Play around with the concept, allow this article to become a bit funnier
  6. Move the images as per the image section.

I do believe that this bird has the capacity to become much better, just put your back into it, and when you think you have it better, submit it back into Pee Review. Good luck!

Reviewer: Warm Regards, Javascap
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