Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Hyper Text Coffee Pot Control Protocol (Três)

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Revision as of 14:40, March 31, 2009 by Gerrycheevers (talk | contribs)

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edit Hyper Text Coffee Pot Control Protocol

So after playing around with this on and off after Sycamore's review a few months ago, I was going finally take the plunge and re-SNF this, but there's a niggling doubt in my mind like always, so I want to see how to improve this further before I go off to VFH to get shot down for writing on obscure topics. Yeah. –—Hv (talk) 17/03 22:04

Cheevers99
This article is under review by
Gerry Cheevers.

Sayeth Gerry: shotgun!!
Humour: 7.9 average of sections

intro: 8 solid beginning, i see where you're going, i want to read the rest. mission accomplished. my pathetically lacking knowledge of the technical details of the actual internet haven't hindered me yet, and i hope they won't. the sentence that starts out 'it was widely praised...' is a little long and wordy, perhaps you could make 'especially in belgium' a footnote, or otherwise rearrange it for clarification.

  • conception: 8.5

more really soild stuff here, i can't find much fault in it. the opening setnence seems like it's missing a word, maybe an 'and'. perhaps some more detail into what the knockoff coffee pots looked like.

  • implementation: 7

another sound section, no real high points though. it seems a little shorter than all the other sections. maybe another sentence or two regarding specific penalties for disregarding regulations.

  • regulations: 9

moar good stuff. i think the (for the time) could be moved to after the word 'strict'. otherwise i can't think of any other fault with this section; it's your strongest so far.

  • deprecation: 7

just a few problems with your ending. i'm not sure how well coffee authorities being authorized to kill fits in with the rest of the article; perhaps some more hilarious doling out of justice would be more appropriate. the iraq war didn't start until 2003, so your timeline is a bit off, unless i'm missing something (which i very well could be). otherwise a solid ending.

Concept: 8 4/5 points for a well-enough known subject that could probably stand a parody.

4/5 points for execution. good encyclopedic tone, and it was good that you stuck to actual http comparisons all the way through pretty closely. maybe too closely; perhaps try to throw something in there that has nothing to do with the internet, and make it obvious.

Prose and formatting: 8 only a few minor sentence flukes that i've already mentioned. formatting was fine; the implementation section was pretty short. maybe move the middle image to the left, but image staggering is a matter of personal preference, so leave it if you'd rather.
Images: 7 three images = good amount of images. all of coffee pots = slightly boring, but good captions make up for it.
Miscellaneous: 7.7 averaged via magic
Final Score: 38.6 my preview button tells me that your score is 38.6, putting this article well up past 'adequate' territory. i would certainly vote for this on VFH in its current state, as i like the close comparisons and dry humor. i suspect some other rather immature voters might vote against on the grounds that 'coffee is boring' and other nonsense like that, so if you are further paranoid i would ask for a quick opinion from some of the regular voters (a simple 'hey, what do you think of this article' on a talk page or two should give you a further impression). good luck, good job, and come find me on my talk page with any other questions.
Reviewer: SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 14:40, 31 March 2009 (UTC)
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