Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/HowTo: Hate the british
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I feel I have a decent idea, and I like the material i have so far, just looking for ideas on possibly making it larger, ideas on things I may have missed. --Skeetdemon (talk) 01:00, July 5, 2012 (UTC) Skeetdemon (talk) 01:00, July 5, 2012 (UTC)
|Humour:||8||I like this one a lot - you achieve consistant constant humor throughout, if not huge laughs necessarily, without overdoing it. You execute the concept well and keep the reader engaged. Nice job.|
|Concept:||10||Great HowTo concept - makes me wonder if this one has been done here for some other subject.|
|Prose and formatting:||7||There are a few typos (I can proofread for you later), but mostly I score down here a bit because the layout needs improvement. Some of this is because of issues with the images (see below). Most glaringly, you have no opening section. I would take the header off of the first section, or cut that section into two and insert the header between them.|
|Images:||4||This is the article's weakness. The images and captions are not well balanced, there are too many of them, they occupy way too much layout space, and the humor level is inconsistent. Let's talk about each image.
The Queen image is good and the caption is very funny. Put it above the first header.
The Apartheid image is fine, but the joke needs to be more succinct - the caption is too long, too wordy and the joke wears off early. I would cut it way down to something like "The British are well-known for imposing racial segregation to their invaded and exploited colonies. This can be a valuable source for your hate".
The Homosexuals image is way too small for the caption and it just makes me want to not even try to read it (tl;dr). I just know before I start reading it that it will be a gay joke, so maybe instead of that, do a comic redirect with something more subtle: "You can always hate this nonsense." That may be all you need here.
The humor level on the Calculus image is weak - I would dump this one. I understand that it recalls the fact that "Calculus" is hilariously in the list of reasons to hate them, and that's a great joke, but I think that joke stands up well enough on its own and does not need to be retold. And anyway we do need to lose an image or two - this is a good candidate.
The Mel Gibson one is also iffy - again you can strengthen it by shortening it: "Make sure your basis for hating is strong: you don't want to be labeled a racist." WWe see it's Gibson, we know it's Gibson, we know he's a racist loon - you don't need to refer to him in the caption, it's a waste of eyeball time.
The Raleigh image is mildly amusing, and nice and succinct. This one is good.
The Boston Massacre is fine, but I would recommend cutting about six or eight words from the caption. "Small" and "Summarily" for instance, are unnecessary, and "battle-hardened" actually weakens your case by giving the soldiers an excuse for their brutality - lose that word for sure.
Prince Charles - here is a great example of subtlety being strength. this image is funny enough in itself and doesn't need any help from a caption, and the caption you have has some borderline random humor. Here I think a very simple "Need we say more?" or something like that would be much stronger.
|Miscellaneous:||9||Very good article - if you work on the images and formatting problems, feature material even.|
|Final Score:||38||I would actually not think about ways to make this article larger, per your comment - I think it is complete. Too much of a good thing can be bad, and this feels just right, minus an image or two.|
|Reviewer:||GlobalTourniquet: 19:22, August 22, 2012 (UTC)|