I know it's short but a lot of HowTo articles are. I need ideas on ways to expand it and make it funnier. --Some Idiot 08:24, July 7, 2010 (UTC)
I will review it my wife wants me to do the luandry any how ~ The*(say shit)(My train wrecks)Π ~ 03:14, July 13, 2010 (UTC)
Some Idiot 08:24, July 7, 2010 (UTC)
*Intro: appreciate a degree of patronizing language. They find it helpful to be talked down to
Now, For Step 1: To lengthen it you may want to paint a picture as to the difficulties faced by your reader on the way out to the line. the vulgarity here is unneeded you are patronizing the reader. he may have lost a limb on the way past the dog. but assure him it is an acceptable loss. it would be a great build up if the reader goes through 5 kinds of hell to get there only to find they have to return for the basket. assure them they made it once, twice will not be much worse.
The Beginning: or they have to crawl because of injury sustained getting there. extrapolate on the power line theme like a what if type thing. an example of if it was a power line.
Removing the Clothes (Part 1):we call them clothes pins in the states. again give a step by step here. like you are walking them through the process.
Removing the Clothes (Part 2): just lose this. use parts of it in the previous step as a second paragraph
The Returning: I Would have call this Return with the prize. or something. I would finish it with a few tips on how to mess it up enough that the reader will not have to do it again.
Alternatively...: give a funny way you could black mail him into doing it. congratulate the reader on a job well done
the concept is a start but as explained above it was executed too fast. slow it down a bit. I think of it as a play by play type thing. Be careful not to go to stupid but take a step and think to your self what would be funny if it happened next?
Prose and formatting:
Was in a major hurry. feel free to express your full ideas. Outlining the actions gives off a feeling of laziness.
picture on lost me. go for something dealing with the obstacle that lays ahead in step 1.
second pick is OK but the hole owned part cut it off. tell the reader it is how you should carry the pegs. it keeps their hands free for stuff.
I really like the potential of this piece it can be good i know it. Remember i am not attacking it just trying to give ideas to lenthen it a bit. You have a sound idea just run with it.
Just think of your reader as a total idiot. They are in trouble and need your advice that is why they are reading it. Have fun with them.