One image is still missing from the top, but it'll have to wait. This article is pretty wacky, since you have to think outside to box in this particular sitution. The question is: Is it too random? Is the story-line too incoherent? --Kip > Talk•Works•• 09:06, Jan. 13, 2010
I'll get this one, 24 hours. --ChiefjusticeDS 19:41, January 13, 2010 (UTC)
Very funny. But ideas 3 to 5 could use some work... overall, liked the idea that there are very few in-jokes. Could use a Braveheart link/quote/something at the 5 feet 6 inches section where you screamed "Freedom!"
Very fresh concept. I've seen something like this before, but this is the first time it's been taken to this level
Prose and formatting:
The Achilles' heel of this article. Some areas have the "Olde English" touch while others lack it. Try to be consistent throughout and the article will have a better feel to it. Noticed some (minor) grammar errors too. Last section is also out of alignment
Images are there, but does not contribute to humo(u)r in itself, though the captions are quite funny. Except the last one, which could've been funnier if it was one of a dyke, or something to that effect :P
Mixed bag Wilde quote on top... Funny in itself, but sounds too crass to have come from a literary genius, no? Ending was slightly weak because it was self-contradictory (notes 9 & 10), and you could use a little fore-shadowing at the beginning to set-up the final joke. Not sure if Note 6 was intentional... pentagrams have 5 points and is drawn in a circle, but I'll give it the benefits of my doubt and assume joke.
This is my first review, so don't take it personally if I said something wrong, k?
sakai"i don't know how to code HTML and never will"4eva. cheers
Great review! Very helpful. I'm glad I was your first. --Kip > Talk•Works•• 02:17, Jan. 15, 2010
Just trying to help v(^.^)v --Sakai4eva 02:31, January 15, 2010 (UTC)