Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/HowTo:Screw in a Lightbulb

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Revision as of 01:59, July 6, 2010 by PeregrineFalcon999 (talk | contribs)

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FAQ

edit HowTo:Screw in a Lightbulb

  The* Lordarcadiansig (say shit) (My train wrecks) Π   ~  05:23, June 24, 2010 (UTC)

I really think you should add more information in the article before it can be reviewed. It'll be hard for a reviewer to state any critism on the article in this condition, as well as a waste of time for the reviewer's part.--Grue JammyDirectorEye 4WILLExplode 3YOU 333Talk IF YOU DARE 20:28, June 24, 2010 (UTC)
sorry had to put the part i missed in  The* Lordarcadiansig (say shit) (My train wrecks) Π   ~  23:18, June 24, 2010 (UTC)
Ok i'm doing this, i think, leave it alone anyone. --Some Idiot 01:35, July 6, 2010 (UTC)
Humour: 7 This a pretty funny article and there are quite a few good one-liners, and the serious language of such a simple activity is pretty funny too. I laughed aloud a few times. One thing you need to change is the introduction. It isn't that interesting and doesn't grab me. Maybe start the article with a scene when you come home late one night, it's all dark, you turn on the light and it doesn't work. You start panicking. Oh god oh god oh god what am I going to do? Don't worry, we're here to save you.

You need something to catch the readers attention and tell us what this article is all about in an interesting way. Or at least add some humour into the introduction to make it funny, just give that introduction some work.

Concept: 9 This is a very good idea but I think you could milk a bit more out of this subject. Maybe add a bit on the benefits of knowing this complex skill? The DANGERS of not using safety and maybe a horribly gruesome description of the result of this? Think up some more ideas to add to just the procedure.
Prose and formatting: 7 This is written well and it doesn't look too messy, although you may want to enlarge the image a bit.
Images: 5 You only have one image but it's OK, so I'm not going to mark you down too much. I think you should add two more images, one of a lightbulb with the caption - Oh god, how do I unscrew it? - and one of someone getting electrocuted with the caption - Think of your safety before screwing in your new lightbulb. There are heaps of pictures out there you could use but you just haven't gone to the effort to get some good ones so make an effort with that, it should put up the quality of the article.
Miscellaneous: 5 Average score.
Final Score: 33 This was a pretty hard review to write because the article is very short but I think I've covered everything you could do to make it better. Make a better introduction, add some more stuff about dangers of lightbulb screwing and benefits and get some more pictures. Other then that I think this is a quality article with some good humour in it.
Reviewer: PeregrineFalcon999 --Some Idiot 01:59, July 6, 2010 (UTC)
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