Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/HowTo:Resurrect The Career Of A 1980's Television Or Film Star

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edit HowTo:Resurrect The Career Of A 1980's Television Or Film Star

This has probably been done before, no? Critiques, please. Tkotse 18:04, 3 April 2008 (UTC)

OK, I will have a look see at this one... MrN Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 22:12, Apr 3

I just noticed "old balck man" at the bottom. D'oh. Tkotse 22:23, 3 April 2008 (UTC)

Humour: 7 It's funny. I would have given you a higher score, but as I have reservations with your formatting (see prose section), I'm being a tight arse. The introduction holds great promise, and I really liked it. Don't think much needs changing there... I also liked the idea about what ever happens, don't bring Kenny back... A word of caution on using the Uncyc "In Jokes" whatever the hell they are... Using the in jokes in Uncyc humour is something which is VERY difficult to do. You actually do it rather well, but be warned that people are sick of hearing about them, and can easily be turned off, at the mere sight of a reference to em. I'm not saying don't do it. Just that if you do, be very careful about how.

“The reader needs to know that you're making fun of the in-joke concept, and not just jumping on the bandwagon”
~ Oscar Wilde

Concept: 8 I don't think this has been done before, although I may be wrong. A solid idea in my book, and one which has a lot more potential.
Prose and formatting: 4 This is my problem. Obviously your actual prose is well written, and nicely punctuated, but the problem which I think people will have with this article is that it's too "Listy"... I see what you are trying to do with the structure of the article, and in this case a list like format is actually not a bad way to go. However, be that as it may be, people will still say "Too Listy". Dam these "people"... Anyways... What I suggest is you try to find a way to convert some of the list like sections into encyclopaedic style paragraphs. Hea, don't ask me how, I just work here. Well, maybe not work, more of just wander around spouting off useless advice. OK, some of the titles can be merged into one, and maybe if you used a {{cquote|Whenever Larry walked into the set of Dallas, everyone became pregnant, even the cameramen}}. style it would work a bit better. Especially if you fleshed the sections out a bit. Basically, very short sections with a heading and only 1 or 2 lines are not good... You get the idea.
Images: 5 Did not really get them, I'm afraid. The picture done in paint really does not help in my view. Did you intend it to look bad? If so, I'm not sure everyone will understand the joke... Maybe you could go with pics of various famous 80's guys, who disappeared? Alf (the puppet)? Roland Rat? Gordon the Gopher? OK, maybe you're not British, but you get the idea. There are lots of people you could use, and more pictures would really help. Hang on, Kenny Everett??? You are British!
Miscellaneous: 6 Averaged per {{Pee|7|8|4|5}}
Final Score: 30 Generally a good idea which simply needs some more work. If you find a way to sort out the formatting, and come up with a little new material, you could be onto a winner here. There is still quite a lot of work to be done however. Good luck with it...
Reviewer: MrN Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 23:05, Apr 3


Actually, MrN9000, the bad images were done on purpose. I don't wanna sound ungrateful, I think you're right. I had no idea what cquote was, and I'm irish, btw. I might include a "relations" section like, "Larry and Roland Rat have always been good friends". Something better than that, but around that area. Also, I'm gonna take that template of yours off now. Thanks again. Tkotse 19:16, 6 April 2008 (UTC)

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