Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/HowTo:Make money without getting a job(resubmit)

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Revision as of 19:15, February 10, 2008 by Dexter111344 (talk | contribs)

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edit HowTo:Make money without getting a job

Well, it got a 40 in the last review. I think I did most of what Under User Unknown User suggested. I also think I did an good job taking with UnIdiot's and TLB advice. Better? Worse? Anything else I could do? VFH-worthy? --Dexter111344 03:53, 29 January 2008 (UTC)

I made a point to not read UU's review before I read your article and wrote this review. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUNWotMRotMAotMVFHSKPEEINGHPBFF (@ 00:37 10 Feb, 2008)
Point of order: I am not Unknown User, and he is not me. I may be Brian, or Spartacus, but not Unknown User. (I thought I didn't remember peeing this!) --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 09:58, 10 February 2008 (UTC)
I'm sorry. I got the two of you confused. My fuck-up. --Dexter111344 19:15, 10 February 2008 (UTC)
You're not? I thought you were his sock or something. Or maybe he was your sock. I know I'm his sock but that's totally unrelated, I always assumed you were a sock as well. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUNWotMRotMAotMVFHSKPEEINGHPBFF (@ 16:56 10 Feb, 2008)
Humour: 5 The humor in this article was...okay. Let me come right out with it: I didn't laugh. I snickered, I smiled at some parts. But this just didn't make me laugh. The censored bar (not the button combo but the other one) just made this look really stupid. The ideas themselves on how to get money were pretty good. But it lacks substance. Work on the individual jokes and not making this sound like so many other articles on this site.
Concept: 7 Nice idea. Some people like to hate on HowTo articles. Not me. I still thought this was a clever idea. I really liked the bit about making a 1920s style wager. Some good ideas here.
Prose and formatting: 7 The tone is nice and consistent, and appropriate for a HowTo article. I found a few grammatical errors here and there, and you really need to move those Tip boxes around so they don't keep running into your images. The formatting needs work, but that's easy stuff. Just spell check it and move templates around.
Images: 9 Your images are good here. I almost feel like there might be too many. But it's too close to the line to say. All of the images were funny and served a relevant purpose. Good job there.
Miscellaneous: 7 Avg'd, I got nothing else for ya.
Final Score: 35 This is an article with a good idea, but no substance. You're writing a check that it simply doesn't cash. I've given you some things to think about, hopefully, and I'm sure that you can get this guy up to speed in no time.
Reviewer: ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUNWotMRotMAotMVFHSKPEEINGHPBFF (@ 00:37 10 Feb, 2008)
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