Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/HowTo:Get hold of a Number Six Cylon
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This is a colloboration between myself and Modusoperandi, hopfully under the childish lustyness theres some substance and humour. Thanks for having a look.-- 12:15, 17 December 2008 (UTC)
|Humour:||8||Yep. This article has plenty of chortles, chuckles and guffaws for me, and even on the odd occasion when I felt a joke fell a little flat or was over-laboured, another one came hot on its heals to set the record straight. I'll comment on the individual sections to emphasise the highs and lows, but generally this is just tinkering with a good solid article.
Intro - The quote isn't that funny (and I don't know if it's a genuine one), but it sets the tone, so let it stand unless you canfind something better. This section does assume that the reader knows what a "Number Six Cylon" is, and for my money there is some scope for a brief explanation here, so long as it doesn't detract from the real meat of the article. As a set up for what follows, it serves.
Freeze yourself in carbonite - a neat piece of humour which, for me, works less well because it's the first option offered. The set up made reference to the difference between reality and fiction, so methods 3 may be a better choice as method 1 - which then fails, forcing you to adopt a fictional alternative (and here method 2 would be a better intro).
Attempt to create a Cylon - "Scotch tape and magic have their limits" is a good line along with mentions of "your brother's" attempts and all that follows. Any niggles are dealt with under prose and formatting.
Masquerade as a film talent agent - a good solid gag that works as a self-contained piece and is the funniest section for me.
Use hastily flung together pre-existing notions - the decent to madness begins, although I found the "literally" gag over-played.
Method five - builds nicely on 4, but perhaps I'd like to see a greater decent into madness, with the prose failing to acknowledge the fact that this is all total madness, and is BOUND to succeed, along with conquering the universe, killing all infidels etc etc mwahahahaha.
Conclusion - yep, as it should be - but if you hype up method 5, the tone needs to reflect more of a "FFS pull yourself together".
Footnotes - I nearly always like footnotes, and I really like these. Maybe a couple too many, but that's me being picky.
|Concept:||9||I really like this as a concept. I have only a passing knowledge of the Battleship Gallactica (not even sure that it's aired in the UK), but by making this into a gentle mockery of sci-fi fan-fantasy, that doesn't really matter at all. Its tone is suitably self-deprecatory, and whilst some sci-fi knowledge may add to the overall enjoyment, it's really this tone that turns this into something more than your average fan-fic article. It's a perfect example of a collaboration that allows sparks to fly within a consistent concept, and I applaud the result.|
|Prose and formatting:||8||The spelling and formatting is fine, but some of the sentences are a bit clunky or unclear. I've made some modifications, which I think make things clearer, and the score reflects these changes. As ever, feel free to revert.|
|Images:||7||The images themselves are fine and appropriate, and the comments add a lot of humour. Because there is a lot of text under them, it's probably unpractical to reduce them in size, but the images themselves (apart from the Han Solo one) aren't funny, they are just good illustrations. Perhaps "You" as Ming and "You" as Atreides would work better if you could find something appropriate.|
|Miscellaneous:||8||Averaged, as per|
|Final Score:||40||A good, solid article, which would be better with a minor restructuring to give a clearer decent into insanity, with a sharp pull up at the end. It's almost there, and as it stands has a lot of decent laughs in it.|
|Reviewer:||--22:33, 8 January 2009 (UTC)|