Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/HowTo:Drown Kittens in Flavor

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Revision as of 15:33, April 30, 2008 by BlueYonder (talk | contribs)

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edit HowTo:Drown Kittens in Flavor

Rewrite of HowTo:Drown Kittens. It may or may not be good, I did it in a rush. Comments on how to improve this please. --The Improver talkcontribs16:02, Apr 19 2008 (UTC)

Just a warning, Kitten Huffing = BAD it is a tired old meme so please stay away from it. --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent Icons-flag-au Noobaward Wotm Unbooks mousepad GUN 09:13, 25 April 2008 (UTC)
Humour: 5.5 Uh...look, mate, I really hope I don't come across as nasty here, but as Irreverent said, kitten huffing is a bit stale round here. That coupled with what I must call some rather poor puntuation (see the appropriate section) rather detracts from the humour. As for the humour itself...well, the jokes aren't too bad-not side splitting, but not bad-but again they are wrapped around a rather stale subject. I'm sure you could embark on a better Uncyc endevour if you found yourself a more original subject and applied your skills to that.
Concept: 5.8 Well...I'll have to make myself sound like a broken record by saying again that kitten huffing is stale around here. On the other hand, the idea of combining this with 'flavour' is a pretty new one, so I'll put that to your credit. Unfortunatley, I'm not sure you took full advantage of this new idea (you can do pretty much anything with anything around here if you really put your mind to it). Like I said, perhaps you'd work better with something a little more fresh.
Prose and formatting: 5 Okay, I was really dissapointed with the prose here. Come on man, you can do better than that; punctuation errors abound ("huffed many kitten's"), you've got a capital letter after every comma, you've mixed up the role of commas and periods ("So if you dipped it in Teriyaki sauce. You would see a lot of Japanese stuff...")...errors like that that force a reader to translate what you've written really kill any enjoyment they can get from it. Good punctuation really isn't that much effort, even if you are in a rush. There's nothing much wrong with the formatting, so I'll give you credit for that.
Images: 6.5 They're appropriate enough, I suppose, and not bad...but some that had something to do with kitten huffing would have been nice. And I'm sure you could have done some great photoshopping if you have the resources.
Miscellaneous: 5.7 Averaged, as usual.
Final Score: 28.5 Look mate, I don't pretend to be an expert on these affairs, I'm just giving my humble opinion, and I hope it helps. I'll say again: go for something a bit fresher, and I'm sure you'll do great. Happy writing!
Reviewer: BlueYonder 15:27, 30 April 2008 (UTC)
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