Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/HowTo:Draw your house (resub)
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VFH-able? Any ideas for improvements? --Purplecrayon 23:26, 23 September 2007 (UTC)
|Humour:||6||Not bad, although I like the intention a bit more than the actual execution.|
|Concept:||8||I like the concept, although I feel it offers more scope. See notes.|
|Prose and formatting:||6||The writing isn't bad, but it's too listy. Step 2 doesn't need to be bulleted, for a start. Basically, if you have VFH ambitions, remember that lists don't tend to play too well there, so if you need lists in your article, try to break them up with some larger blocks of text.|
|Images:||8||There are some, they are relevant, fine and dandy here.|
|Miscellaneous:||7||Keep working, there's definite potential here.|
|Final Score:||35||See comments below. Basically, I think there's a good concept, and the germ of a fine article here, but it needs some expansion, some reformatting, and some sanding and polishing. Keep going!|
|Reviewer:||--Sir Under User (Hi, How Are You?) VFH KUN 09:56, 28 September 2007 (UTC)|
Right, for my money, you need to focus more on sounding like a stuffy art snob, trying to encourage great art all the way through, despite all the advice clearly pointing towards a children's picture. To this end, expand on the instructions. Example:
You need to start by drawing the outline of the house. Look to capture the subtle nuances, the angles that so emphasise the characteristic outline, and seem to cry to the casual viewer "I am a house! I am not afraid!" I suggest being bold, almost abstract here, use a series of 4 straight lines, joined daringly at right angles, to create a sort of avant-garde "square" effect! Beautiful.
Etc etc. Possibly have some preamble about research, spending time viewing houses to ensure that house-iness permeates your very soul. To draw a house, you need to be able to think like a house. Or like one would think. If they could think. *Sigh*.
Pushing in this direction, using the pretensions of art and ending up with your line drawing "masterpiece", you could have a lot of fun.
Alternatively, ignore this advice, and try a different tack, it's up to you. I do recommend breaking up the listy feel with more content though, if you want to put this up for VFH. However, other opinions are available! --Sir Under User (Hi, How Are You?) VFH KUN 09:56, 28 September 2007 (UTC)