Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/HowTo:Destroy the World

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search

FAQ

edit HowTo:Destroy the World

Mostly I want advice on any expansion I could do, but any in-depth review would be appreciated. Some Idiot Image002 08:21, July 29, 2010 (UTC)


Ima take this one, so far i like what i see =D. Give be a day, got some other things on my plate as well. --Happymonkey39 LAZARWeegeeheadbobinDomo kun dance1 Dah Meme Master 15:59, July 29, 2010 (UTC)
Humour: 8.8 Alright, first i must congratulate you on a job well done. In my reviews, i strive for people to use irony and unexpected lines constantly, and you did. The jokes were very well thought out and creative. Now i am going to give some tips on how to improve, but there truly isn't much to improve.

O.K, the number one reason this section did not get a 10/10 is because of your links. Links are great to use, and I've been told myself to through them everywhere, but there is one problem. Links are even better when they are funny. When you write one thing and when you go to click it and get another, that's always funny. For Example:

  • When you said "your article", you could have made the link "piece of junk", or something among those lines.
  • When you mentioned Disney, it could have linked to Porno.
  • Batman you could have put "pedophile" or something.

I'm not sure if you know how but i will show you anyways. You put the to square brackets, like so [[

Then add the name of the page you want it to link to, in this case stalker [[Stalker

Then add what you want the page to actually say, separated by a line, in this case I'll use Santa Clause [[stalker|Santa Clause]]


Also there are some pointless links. You linked the word good...not good. These kind of words should not be linked. On that note you also had some repetitive links. For example, you linked the word earth three times, and that's not including the similar words, planet and world. As much as links help, you can't go overdrive in my opinion, they can add on, but if every other word is a link that's just too much.

Although there was a lot, there were a few opportunities to ad that "unexpected comedy". The best times are always charts and lists. In your case your line, "user passes gas", was great, because it's not expected and funny. The key is to do more of those rather than just facts. Although facts are necessary, you can't have a full article on them, because it wouldn't be funny. Now for an example of the unexpected comedy, you could of had something among the lines of the world gets rickrolled, or if someone finds out how to divide by zero. Anything ironic or unexpected is good.

Concept: 9 Great concept, and it was used relatively well. The only advise i can give here is that you should really take advantage of you title. Like when you said 2012 is coming, but hey why not have it earlier, that was brilliant. Something that you could add would be something that takes your articles purpose, and makes an ironic joke. For example, since you article is about the end of the world, as on of the ways to end it it could have been to Die. Under it write something like: This may not make the world get destroyed to everyone else, but hell, you made it disappear! Not only that, you can smash it up all you want in heaven!
Prose and formatting: 8.5 Very well made out, it is tidy with few spelling or grammatical errors and overall pretty well planed out. There are to minor problems.
  1. That preparation shouldn't be there, you have to either re-write it or add it at the beginning of the next section
  2. Strategies that usually work should be split in two, cut straight down the middle on where the "Blowing it up" is. It's too long, but split it in two, and make to different titles, and it will work out well.
Images: 9.5 Great pictures, they are captioned well and all suit the article...well the kitten one is somewhat irrelevant, that's what took of the .5, but it's acceptable.
Miscellaneous: 8.95 (averaged the scores)I simply don't like the ending. You could have ended it with a big bang...literally. Something to do with...well nothing, since were all dead in the end. I think you should fix that ending up and your good to go.

But i really love you beginning, it gets to the point, uses irony and truly catches the readers attention.

Final Score: 44.75 Fantastic job, i loved it, and you can see that by the score. Great work, fix up those minor problems and you possibly got a VFH article on your hands. Keep up the solid work!
Reviewer: --Happymonkey39 LAZARWeegeeheadbobinDomo kun dance1 Dah Meme Master 16:48, July 29, 2010 (UTC)
Personal tools
projects