Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/HowTo:Count to 1

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Revision as of 04:20, February 12, 2012 by Phrank Psinatra (talk | contribs)

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edit HowTo:Count to 1

I'm not actually sure how good this is, but I hope others like it. Thanks. --Tophat headless 04:47, February 4, 2012 (UTC)

Humour: 10 I think this idea has been stretched in ways that I am not sure what you can add. I am not saying it's "purple prose", but you are so choc-a-bloc with cultural references and visual gimmicks that I think that there isn't much more to add.
Concept: 8 It is not a concept that you can take too far to begin with, unless you make it into something akin to a "shaggy dog story" out of it, which is kind of what you did already. No joke about the rate of death being 1 per person?
Prose and formatting: 7 There is something rough about the flow of the prose. The number of changes in thought is great for enhancing irony, but the flow can get away on you and your efforts at humor lose their effect somewhat. Without changing content, you need to get the text to flow better. Example from your first paragraph:
While it is the first number, so all you have to do is say its name, there is an intense amount of difficulty in attempting to count to one.

Would any meaning be lost if you shortened it and re-wrote it as:

While it is the first number, there is an intense amount of difficulty in attempting to count to one.

The middle bit almost sounded like you were contradicting yourself. It's a small example, but the message is that you need to sound more punchy.

Images: 5 I don't seem to get all the connections between the article and some of your images, especially that elephant one. And what's with "penguin?"
Miscellaneous: 8 Overall score.
Final Score: 38 It's an incredible start overall. Just needs polishing. Good luck!
Reviewer: Phrank Psinatra 04:20, February 12, 2012 (UTC)
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