I'd like to have some input on how to improve the article. I'm aiming for a VFH sometime soon, so I'd like to have an outside opinion about how funny this article really is. Parsat, or, A Whole Bunch of Mischief 18:32, 9 February 2008 (UTC)
Lots of good gags, I especially like the part about missing church, however it all becomes a bit tangled in the "Capturing the Athiest part". I would peronally suggest slimming down this part and less emphasis on damnation. We already got that in the introduction. The bait section is interesting but not as funny as it could be. Maybe less about Clinton and Operah and more about specific athiest philosophers, Hume for example? All your "Tip" boxes are very good for a minor chuckle by the way. Your transporting section is brief but flows well. The uses of an athiest are funny, but you could do with a few more blunt ones. Such as "Selling to Necromancers" "Church Ornaments" "Popular Children's Toys". Maybe they wont be as funny, but its just my idea. On a final note, use Agnostics or Deists or Pantheists a little bit, could be funny.
The concept is brilliant, I Love it! The idea of catching an athiest is great and it links very well with the Athiest Huffing article. I can relate to this in real life to some extent, more or less arguing with my athiest friend and resorting to hitting them round the head when they become frustrating. A great idea here.
Prose and formatting:
I like the presentation and formatting in this article, however the first two paragraphs are not too easy on the eye, consider resorting paragraphs, oh and just a little thing, but I suppose its hard to avoid, the transporting Athiests section would look better if that book signing image was on the right, not the left
Only a few images used, but they both made me laugh. If you really really really want to make me laugh, get an image of someone tied up in a trunk to use in your transporting athiests bit, if you dont have one, go out to your car now and do it yourself. (that last comment was a joke... well you could do it...)
I really like this article and with a bit more smart humour and a few more silly comments to juxtapose this you really could have a great article. This is my first pee reivew so feel free to comment on my review, has it been useful to you? As it stands this article is far from any sort of ICU status, it is better than quite a few HowTo's I have read on here. I hope I've helped.