Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/HowTo:Become an Assassin

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edit HowTo:Become an Assassin

Just put one of my 2 first article on mainspace. Tell me what you think! Snowflake mini Mattsnow 15:39, April 25, 2011 (UTC)

Humour: 6 Since the whole tone of the article is zany and irreverent, a different title might have been funnier (such as, "How To: Become a Hit Man"), with a focus on mafioso references. Also, some of the famous assassinations are arguably really weren't assassinations (such as the death of Jesus - he was put to death under color of Roman law, rather than taken out by an assassin). Still, certain parts of the article are pretty funny. The kitten holding the sniper rifle and the list of famous assassins gave me a laugh.
Concept: 5 The concept has potential but could use some work. Being an assassin by itself is not that funny, so that is an obstacle, but the idea of a guidebook could (and does) lead to some good humor. The article lays out general topics of instruction, like choice of weapon and target, but could probably benefit from being laid out more as a step-by-step guide, with numbered steps, and more of them to follow.
Prose and formatting: 5 The prose and formatting are not in the format of an encyclopedia article, but are a bit zanier. This works to the extent that a serious topic, like assassination, is being taken lightly for the sake of humor. Still, because murder by itself is not funny, something more is probably needed. Under the scenario where the article is written as a guide for hit men, for example, the voice of the article could be less formal and sound like one mafioso talking to another in mafia vernacular. Here, though, there does not seem to be a humorous base for varying from standard English and punctuation.
Images: 8 The images are pretty darn funny! The kitten, the man laying on the grass, and the hammer are all quite hilarious. So is the guidebook for murder. In fact, it seems like the photographs were the inspiration for the article, which is fine, but then the article has big shoes to fill. Overall, though, the images are great.
Miscellaneous: 6 Avg'd your score, via the "Pee" function
Final Score: 30 The article needs some work on its coherence and organization, tied with an improved concept, to really flow and be laugh-out-loud funny. Still, especially with the pictures, it is amusing and was fun to read.
Reviewer: --NoNamesLeft 00:46, April 29, 2011 (UTC)

Thank you very much for the review! Snowflake mini Mattsnow 19:13, May 1, 2011 (UTC)

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