Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/HowTo:Be Normal

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edit HowTo:Be Normal

Tkotse 17:53, 2 April 2008 (UTC)

Look out for my article, Normal! aah! NOCAJ-!   Le Cejak <Apr 02, 2008 [22:26]>
Dude, your article's about Pirates! I wish mine was. aah! Tkotse 14:38, 3 April 2008 (UTC)
Humour: 5 Right now, I can see the jokes that are coming, and while they are currently good, there isn't enough there for this to be a high score. It starts very well indeed, though you may need to flush a few more lines out of the blurb at the top and include the words "be normal" as a phrase somewhere in it for maintenance. The line I liked best in what you hav so far would definitely be "I know this place isn't exactly a paragon of human decency, social skills or any form of niceness at all", as it is superficially correct (which is all your intended audience will know) but that's just me. Your article does, however, tail off quite dangerously, and many of the later sections seem very unfinished. What you need to do to make this funnier is to add more content to it really, as what you have is good but isn't finished (which I would expect from a WIP really). As long as what you're adding is as good as what's already there, you should have a fine article.
Concept: 7 This, to me, seems like just the type of ever-so-slightly-ironic ideas that with good execution could be featured. Obviously this isn't quite there yet, but it definitely has the potential to be VFH'd/FA. You need to flesh out this concept a bit, as each subheading doesn't feel quite long enough yet - try explaining stuff a fair bit more, maybe add a couple of funny descriptions that a reader can imagine and let that do some of the humour work for you.
Prose and formatting: 6 Your prose, I can't really fault you on what you have, you seem very articulate and know how to get your point across easily with little to no spelling and grammar mistakes (that aren't on purpose) - you could use more prose however. However, the formatting lets you down somewhat, with too many ;links in the article making it look like a whore, as Uncyclopedians would call it, and cluttered to most readers. Red links are especially bad. You need to reduce the whitespace in between paragraphs, which will help you flesh out the text more (due to it looking shorter). As I will explain below, you need to get rid of that non-existant image. One final thing - the first mention of the word "normal" needs to be emboldened.
Images: 5 The one you have currently is great, giving the would-be instruction follower a clear target and setting a very good standard for the start of the article. However, as this is a HowTo: - moreso than any other type of article - this need more images, describing some of the steos involved and being put by said steps (i.e. a picture of how the reader's life is not The Office). One more thing here, you really need to get the teacher image in, as red links are bad normally, but they just look horrendous with images.
Miscellaneous: 5.8 Damn you Cajek and your edit conflicts, I've had this tab open and been working on it for about 20 hours, dammit!
Final Score: 28.8 This is still obviously a WIP, so I can't exactly say this is VFH ready - or anywhere near it. But the way you've started looks promising, and if you can hopefully keep it up, this article definitely has the potential to go all the way. Good luck!
Reviewer: –—Hv (talk) 3/04 15:24
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