Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Hovercrafts

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edit Hovercars

Newest article, didn't want to make it too long. Thanks for taking a look! Tagstit 17:22, 14 January 2009 (UTC)

Humour: 5 The article has very little to do about hovercars and more to do with a stock "salesman" character trying to tell the reader something that isn't useful. Try to make the article more about the hovercars than the salesman, though if you REALLY want to, you can keep the salesman in the background.
Concept: 5 The concept is a bit dry. A hovercar that doesn't work very well doesn't have very much room to be funny. First of all, as you well know, hovercars aren't real yet. Making fun of something that is real has much more room to be funny because there is so much more information available on it, and people will be more familiar with it which will make it funnier. Also, the relationship between cars and hovercars (which I assume you are trying to poke fun at) isn't clear, nor is it very humorous. Try to take the idea of "a futuristic invention existing under today's technological limitations" (which is in itself a good premise) in another direction beyond just cars, such as cities, space travel, etc.
Prose and formatting: 9 The writing and formatting style are exactly to specifications. I would disagree as to whether they are actually result in humor. Try improving the concept to make better jokes easier.
Images: 7 You lose an 8, 9 or 10 b/c no Photoshopping was done and because the captions really didn't make me laugh. Try improving the concept to make better jokes easier. See [[1]] for more help in that area.
Miscellaneous: 6.5 You certainly know HOW to be funny and to write an article. The problem is that you need better material to work with. I don't even think Jerry Seinfeld could make this article funny. Please read my comment under concept and humor a couple of times (if you're not too pissed off at me for disagreeing with you).
Final Score: 32.5 Check out ["Help" section]. I know at first you might think "Where do they get off..." when someone tries to tell you how to make a good joke. Most people consider humor entirely "subjective." In fact, there are objective AND subjective elements to humor (among most other things). Though I will not go into those in their entirety at this moment, I will suggest reading their guidelines on content and humor. Though incomplete, they do provide a fairly decent foundation for writing an article that a "reasonable person" would find funny. Work on that concept and good luck! =)
Reviewer: Projectjulio 19:17, 14 January 2009 (UTC)
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