Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Hollywood values
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I'll review this now. --Matfen 23:58, April 12, 2010 (UTC)
|Humour:||8||Hollywood Values is one of my favorite conservapedia articles (lol-wise, not actual fact-wise), so it's great that we have our own parody of such a valuable topic. This is a quite funny article, that probably could be amazing with a few improvements. I'll try my best to suggest some, but they'll invariably be take it leave it advice. I'll go through section by section seeing as it's so neatly divided up.
Respect of Marriage
The fatherhood section is good, but you may also wish to add the idea of the adopted african baby fad that Brad Pitt and other celebs seem to be doing. Hope you don't feel like you're ripping from Bruno too much if you do, though.
|Concept:||8.5||Parodying Conservapedia seems like a solid gold idea to me, and Hollywood Values certainly seems like a topic ripe for parody. Like I said before, this only needs a little bit of polish and expansion to become an excellent article. My only problem with this is that it relies a bit too much on background-knowledge. To get all the celeb name jokes, you'd have to know what they did. The Hannah Montana joke would really require you to have read that perverted UnNews article. I don't think many people know, (or at least many people I know, but they're backwards) about Charlton Heston's pro-gun stance, or Walt Disney's racism. This wouldn't be too bad, but the article doesn't actually inform you about it. It just hints that they're pro-conservative about something. Also, you missed off a section about the US military. Perhaps directors such as Tony Scott could have a part in it. There must be something to get out of all the slow-motion explosions. Not to mention The Hurt Locker, argued as one of the greatest recruiting propaganda films evah!|
|Prose and formatting:||9||Just a few odd spelling and grammar mistakes. Nothing major. Some people may complain about it being a bit listy, but they're in short sections and punctuated well, so it's not that bad. Besides, compared to the original conservapedia article's formatting, it's amazing!
Individuals in the opening paragraph needs an apostrophe, (do it myself but too lazy). Magic Johnson is a red link. With Ashton Kutcher's insightful quotes, Sexiest is spelt sexist. Unsure whether this is his excitability, or an actual spelling mistake, but either way I think it should be spelt properly as it's a bit confusing. Also, you might want to phrase it "and makes himself" for clarity. Mark Wahlberg is a red link. In the life section, on the scrubs sentence, "Its" has an apostrophe when it shouldn't. On this section, you may also prefer to use the present tense, so it would say "Some examples of this include:
|Images:||9||I'm tempted to give 10, but apparently only n00bs do that on pee-reviews. Seriously. They're all really good. I noticed you used my Kanye one as well, which you must have found from my old Christian Bale article, or the Unscript that was seperated from it. Funny enough, you also linked to my Christian Bale article, and you've got links to Iron-Man and Robert Downey Jr., both of which I've got half-finished rewrites knocking about in my userspace. You're not stalking me, are you?|
|Miscellaneous:||8.6||Averaged using Pee.|
|Final Score:||43.1||I'm just gonna copy and paste what I've already said twice. "Parodying Conservapedia seems like a solid gold idea to me, and Hollywood Values certainly seems like a topic ripe for parody. Like I said before, this only needs a little bit of polish and expansion to become an excellent article."|
|Reviewer:||--Matfen 01:23, April 13, 2010 (UTC)|