Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Hersheys2

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edit Hersheys2

IS actually Hersheys I like cheese 18:54, October 18, 2009 (UTC)

Raptor This raptor is guarding this article while his master, Iwillkillyou333 is reviewing it. Be Careful! He Bites.
Humour: 1 Im sorry to say I barely found anything funny about this. This doesnt really explain things about Hershey. It has absolutly no truth in it, and is full of randomness. Although Uncyclopedia isnt really a website of truth, it states in the HTBFANJS under Be a Comedian: Advice About Nonsense and Opposites it states The truth is usually funnier than nonsense. The funniest pages are those closest to the truth None of the article is true and people arent going to like that because it was made up and just plain stupid.
Concept: 0 The concept isnt good, as it is full of randomness and not so truthful.
Prose and formatting: 6 You have some spelling errors, which isnt really a good thing as it makes the article look poorly written. To correct these errors, go over the entire page or use Microsoft Word as it has spell check or our proofreading services (which I highly recommend).
Images: 1 Besides that liitle fat kid dancing, the images are not very appealling. The first one was just gross and the second one was just plain wrong. We're trying to make people laugh, not throw up. And they have nothing to do with a Hershey bar. SO remove those and replace them with actual pictures of the candy and leave the gross things to the show Dirty Jobs.
Miscellaneous: 3 Average
Final Score: 11 Not trying to be a dick or anything, but this would be considered stupid rather than funny. I believe you can do better than this. I suggest you rewrite this entire article. Just do research on the internt and you can parodize that instead of making total nonsense. Its also better to get someone elses opinion. And the HTBFANJS is always there to help. Good Luck!
Reviewer: --Iwillkillyou 333 TALK What's it like to be a heretic? 03:06, October 20, 2009 (UTC)
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